


Misunderstandings and Five Year Plans

by Tahlruil



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Fluff, Frustrated Steve Rogers, Getting Together, Hijinks & Shenanigans, How Do I Tag, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Tony Stark, POV Alternating, Some angst, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-06-30 10:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15750045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: Captain America and Iron Man had gotten off on the wrong foot - there was no question about that. Maybe it was because Tony Stark had grown up knowing, thanks to Howard, that Captain America would despise everything about him. Or maybe it was because Steve Rogers had no idea how to handle the world he had woken up in, and the man in the Iron Man armor was a dazzling display of everything the 'future' had to offer.No matter the reason, things hadnotgone well during that initial meeting.Tony was fine with that, honest. There was absolutely no pouting on his part because Cap didn't want to be his friend. He wasn't even that upset about the way Cap could hardly stand to look at him. It was fine. Completely. His feelings weren't hurt even a little.Steve hasn't been able to look away from Tony since they met. Once his initial fumbling was over and he came to terms with the fact that he'd survived the crash after all... well. He'd fallen fast and hard for the flashy inventor. He just doesn't know how to get the idiot to understand that.





	1. You Burn Like Whiskey

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! :D This work is a commission, one that has taken me longer than it should have to get started. ;.;
> 
> The plan is to update every Monday with two chapters - one shorter and one longer. Fingers crossed that I can keep to that schedule!

Disappointment wasn't a new feeling for him - it was closer to an old, familiar friend. Maybe the source of the feeling this time was especially painful, but once the hurt and fury had passed, well. Tony would be happy to sink into the dull, persistent feeling that had lived in his bones since he was four and realized Howard would never _really_ be proud of him.

He had been hearing stories about Captain America even longer - hell, to hear everyone tell it, his very first word had been 'Captain'. A garbled infant's version of it anyway. Tony had no doubt believing that it was the closest Howard had ever come to approving of him. The missing soldier - not dead, _never_ dead unless someone wanted to send Howard into a spiral of rage and grief - had been an intrinsic part of young Tony's life. When it wasn't Howard telling the stories it was Aunt Peggy or one of the Howling Commandos. Even Jarvis knew every one and repeated them over and over. When he was a kid, back before he had understood it all, Tony had begged for those stories, had _lived_ for them. He couldn't wait for his dad - it had still been dad then - to find Captain America and bring him home. Tony couldn't wait to meet his hero.

As he got older, he got even more excited when he realized that Howard - the one who had belittled his little robot dog before crushing it under his heel, then roared at Tony for crying over the loss - might get better once he had located his lost friend. Once Captain America came back, everything would be alright. And sure, Cap wouldn't like Tony much - he was too sensitive, too irritating, _too much_ and _not enough_ \- but that would be okay. He would still get to meet his hero, and maybe, just maybe, he would get to see Howard smile the way he did in the pictures Aunt Peggy and Jarvis sometimes showed him.

Captain America could make everything better. Tony could live with his hero sneering at him and making the same cruel remarks as his dad if it meant that Howard himself would be happier. He had still loved the man then, loved him with the uncomplicated fierceness of a child. All he had wanted was for his dad to be happy, because if Howard was happy... maybe someday Tony would show him a design and Howard would smile at him like he did in those old pictures.

All those hopes had been disappointed, and Tony had learned to live with that. He had in fact embraced it and been very determined to live down to Howard's expectations of him. The cutting remarks didn't sting as sharply, and his father's inability to see any of his good qualities didn't cut as deeply.

Funnily enough, it was the continued reminders that Captain America would find him weak and fragile that hurt him more. Hearing over and over how much his childhood hero wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him didn't make it any easier to swallow. It always burned going down, as harsh as the glass of whiskey Howard had thrust into his hand when he was twelve along with a demand to stop being so goddamn sensitive and be a man instead.

After Howard had died, Tony had been able to forget a little of that. He had other things to think about - booze and drugs, beautiful women and men who were more than happy to come to his bed. There was a company to pretend he was any good at running, weapons to be designed, wars to be won and soldiers to be protected. Even if disappointment had wrapped around his bones tightly enough that it never really went away, Tony didn't dwell on the reasons why very often. He didn't have time to think about all the ways Captain America would loathe him, and he hadn't realized how much more it would hurt now that Howard's happiness was no longer the trade-off. Hell, Tony had given up any real hope of Captain America ever being found years ago anyway.

_Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?_

_I know guys with none of that worth ten of you._

_You may not be a threat, but you'd better stop pretending to be a hero._

Loki's fight with the Hulk had left his living room in less than pristine condition, but his bar had been untouched. Tony had been staring at a glass of whiskey for over an hour, reliving the fight on the Helicarrier over and over. It was supposed to have been caused by Loki's staff, by whatever the hell kind of bullshit magic powered it, but Tony knew better. He remembered the derision in Captain America's eyes and the sneer on his lips. He had countless memories of Howard telling him how little Captain America would think of him, and Howard had been right. Loki's staff had just brought it all to the surface sooner than might have happened otherwise. Captain America was never going to be a fan, and it was probably better this way. At least this way he hadn't had time to _hope_. It would have all come out in the end, and it was better that Tony hadn't had the chance to convince himself that maybe, just maybe, Howard had been wrong. He hadn't had time to believe that he and Captain America could be _friends_.

It was better this way... but whiskey still burned all the way down.


	2. He Hates Me... He Hates Me Not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter for this update! :D
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy, and think about leaving a comment maybe if you do. <3

"Tony..."

"Is it too much? It's too much. I just..."

Pepper sighed and reached out for the blueprints hovering in the air. She pulled them close, interacting with his holograms in a way she rarely did. He watched with a mixture of excitement and dread, because if his Pepper-pot told him that he'd gone too far he knew she was telling the truth. She knew that line a hell of a lot better than he did, and whenever he did more than toe it she wasn't afraid to tell him to knock it off. For long, long minutes that felt like forever, she didn't say anything and the silence was only broken by her thoughtful hums.

It sort of hurt to have her remove or adjust parts of his designs, but he trusted her taste and judgment. Besides, that was a stupid thing to be upset about so he shoved the feeling down deep where it belonged.

"It's not too much, Tony," she finally said. Her voice was warm and gentle, and her eyes were lit with understanding and love. "You've all been getting along so much better--"

"Team building exercises are actually good for something. Who knew?" Tony kept his voice light, refusing to think of the one Avenger who was still stiff and awkward around him. "We should implement some of SHIELD's techniques at SI. Maybe a retreat where our workers can all shoot paintballs at each other and play capture the flag."

Pepper gave a little snort of laughter - he loved when she forgot to seem elegant and just let herself be. "I think that would turn into a bloodbath, but we can try it on a small scale if you want."

"Better than repulsers, hammers, arrows and shields at least. Our insurance probably wouldn't cover that."

"Probably not, no," she said dryly. 

"So this isn't too much?"

"I certainly don't think so. If you had given them each their own floor," she added, making Tony's cheeks burn as he silently vowed to _never_ show her his initial floor plans. "That would have been over the top. But this... I think this could be good for all of you. Now that you aren't at each other's throats, anyway."

Those first two months of being a team had been... challenging. Without a common enemy it was hard to get every Avenger on the same page. Even being in the same room for longer than five minutes without any bloodshed had been a victory some days. There had been quite a few personality clashes, misunderstandings and glaring at first. The more time they spent together though, the more they relaxed. Fury was keeping them out of small-league fights for the moment and had even stopped giving Nat and Clint field missions - he wanted them all to be focused on building a team. A _real_ team. The Avengers trained together multiple times a week and participated in 'bonding sessions' that had been first ordered by Fury but quickly became second nature.

Getting take-out after training became a ritual. It was sort of awesome the way Captain America could use one 'aw, shucks mister' look to keep SHIELD's cafeteria staff from complaining about them bringing in outside food like that. Sort of sucked that they had to eat in the cafeteria instead of being actually comfortable, but it was fine.

When they watched movies together, slowly introducing Thor and Captain America to current Midgardian culture, it was in a cramped conference room with a shitty TV. Tony didn't complain (much) and it was worth the uncomfortable chair to watch Clint and Thor pelt popcorn at each other while Nat's eyes dared them to hit her with so much as one kernel. He could live with the setup to watch Bruce smile softly and try to hide it. Hell, even Captain America seemed to relax a little during the movies.

It was more frustrating to watch SHIELD provide his team with shitty weapons and poorly designed armor. He hated how bland and boring SHIELD's HQ was, hated that the team members who lived there probably didn't have much to do in their downtime. How the hell was Captain America supposed to adjust to the future when all he had around him was a series of white walls, stoic faces and people who treated him like he was made out of glass?

He knew Captain America didn't like him very much, but he still felt for the guy. Captain America deserved better than squatting at SHIELD HQ.

Bruce had been doing so much better since he moved into the tower. Some of the tension had drained from his shoulders and he didn't look quite so hunted anymore. Tony had even heard him laughing a few times, and he knew his Brucie-bear enjoyed having a lab of his own again. They were becoming friends, which gave him a warm fuzzy feeling he refused to acknowledge ( _stop being a sissy, boy_ ) and Bruce had finally started accepting Tony's stupid nicknames and casual touches. Watching Bruce relax - blossom, even - had given Tony an idea.

Even the murder twins could probably use a safe place away from SHIELD to relax. Captain America would be living somewhere that actually encouraged him to _live_ , and Thor would have somewhere to stay when Jane kicked him out for disturbing her experiments. He could give them all that - he could give them a home.

Or a homebase, at least, one separate from and more welcoming than SHIELD.

At first he had wanted to give them all their own floors - the way Pepper's eyes sparkled said she knew it too - but had eventually reconsidered. Bruce had one, after all, but seemed to constantly gravitate to the penthouse suite where he had a chance of running into Tony, Pepper and sometimes Rhodey. People did better with other people (though not him, because he was a Stark and Starks were perfectly capable of forging ahead on their own), and he figured it was important to take that into account.

Besides. Too much space and alone time to think probably wasn't good for any of the Avengers. They all had enough issues to make a fleet of psychiatrists as rich as he was.

So his plans had Bruce and Thor sharing a floor, one that would have a special room for the Hulk if he ever needed some time for himself outside of a fight. The murder twins and Captain America would have a second floor since Captain America and Nat seemed to be getting close - which he was absolutely not jealous about. He didn't care that everyone else on the team had been invited to call Captain America 'Steve', and he was definitely not green with envy that Captain America would let Nat brush casual fingers over his arm or accept Thor's arm over his shoulders while he shrank back from even the _possibility_ that Tony might get close enough to touch him.

Okay, sure, maybe he was a little jealous, but he wasn't going to punish Captain America by sticking him on a floor all by himself. It wasn't his fault Tony was the way he was. Howard had always told him it would be like this, that Captain America would take one look at him and know that he was too sensitive, not manly enough to be worth his time. He had been expecting it since he was a kid, and he could deal.

He had Pep, Rhodey and JARVIS, after all, who had been his friends even when he hadn't deserved any. There was Bruce to science with, who made him try strange teas and teased him gently about his addiction to coffee. Nat had apologized for everything that had happened while he was dying - Tony believed and forgave her. Now her threats were more fond than anything, and he'd even caught her almost-smiling at his sarcastic movie commentary more than a few times. He had Clint to snark with during their more boring meetings and who would happily engage in mini food fights with Tony. The archer was also teaching him how to shoot a bow and arrow which was pretty awesome. The resident 'God of Thunder' was a bit more of a mystery, but Tony was learning that he wasn't as ignorant as he led people to believe. Technology on Earth was hard for him to grasp because it was so _primitive_ , and he had promised to bring some books and tech back from Asgard for Tony to study. Primers meant for children, he had cautioned with a twinkle of mirth in his eyes, because he didn't want to make Tony's poor mortal brain hurt too much.

Tony also had the public mostly on his side for the first time in his adult life. The media too, except for the few outlets that would always hate him for his days of partying or his refusal to make weapons for the military anymore. His old Board of Directors, the one put together by Stane, had largely retired or revised their opinion of him. While he still hated going to those meetings, the fresh faces and more relaxed attitude meant he didn't actively avoid going to them either. The R&D department was rocking it, JARVIS had joined several online communities for the express purpose of trolling the members, and what happened in New York City largely had Congress backing the fuck off.

Life was good, and for the first time in a long time, Tony was happy. Well, maybe not _happy_ , not all the time, but it was better than he had felt in years. Maybe ever.

He didn't need Captain America's friendship, because he had so much other good stuff in his life.

Really.

"Okay, so now that I have your approval, Peppy Princess--"

"If you ever call me that in front of another soul--"

"Wouldn't dare, you'd disembowel me in a way so impressive Nat would be asking you for murder tips. Anyway. Now that you have stamped the plans with your seal of approval, I'm going to call my construction crew. I'm thinking we'll start with the common floor and the one where the gym will be so I can pitch those to the team and see what they think."

"I'm sure they'll be happy to be able to train and hang out somewhere other than SHIELD." Her nose wrinkled and her lips pursed - Pepper had _not_ been impressed on her few walks through the facility to meet with Fury to discuss what SI was and was not willing to help the organization with. "I know I would want to get out of there as soon as possible. The whole place is so depressing."

"Damn straight."

"And Mr. Stark?"

"Yes Ms. Potts?"

"If I ever decided to disembowel you, Natasha wouldn't know to come to me for tips. No one would suspect me of anything." The sugary-sweet tone of her voice made him shudder, and he gulped in fear that wasn’t entirely pretend. Eyes dancing and lips curved up in a wicked smile, she leaned in to whisper in his ear. "And nobody would ever find the body."

"... you know what? I'm gonna strike the nickname 'Peppy Princess' from my vocabulary entirely."

"Wise decision." She pressed a kiss to his cheek before ruffling his hair, then left the workshop with the steady sound of her heels hitting the floor a familiar comfort to his ears. Tony couldn't ever properly say how much he loved her, just like his feelings for Rhodey, JARVIS and his boys would be impossible to articulate. Maybe someday he'd be able to say the same for Bruce, Nat, Clint and Thor.

Maybe when that happened he would stop the stupid, childish, desperate hope that Captain America would find something about him to like.

~.~.~

"Dude."

"Yeah?"

" _Dude_."

"I wasn't sure if you'd like them."

"You made me arrows that explode into clouds of purple glitter. Do you have _any idea_ how many epic pranks I'm going to be able to pull off at SHIELD?" The way Clint started to cackle probably should have been worrying, but instead Tony felt a manic grin stretch over his own lips. "Those baby agents aren't going to know what hit them. Oh man. This is gonna be so good. Do you think I could get Fury's office? Getting around Hill won't be easy, but it might be worth it to try... hey, could you stick a timer or something on some of these? If three of them were to go off in, say, the training room during drills for the higher ups--"

Hypothetically, of course," he interrupted, already planning an alibi and fully intending to feign ignorance about where the arrows had come from.

"Well yeah. I mean, _I_ would never do something like that. I'm going to be very responsible with these babies. But you never know - I might lose some. If that were to, hypothetically speaking, happen and someone used those misplaced arrows for evil... well. I bet Hill would be pissed enough that they'd start searching the vents for me on the wrong assumption that I did it. It would be a great opportunity for someone - some arrow stealing, very naughty someone who is definitely not going to be me - to sneak into Fury's office through means other than the vents."

"How many do you want on timers, Katniss?"

"Yes!" Tony felt his smile grow even broader when Clint pumped his fist up into the air. He'd been hearing Clint lament about how boring all the arrows SHIELD gave him were, how they never let him have anything fun. Tony had boxes full of arrows for Clint in his workshop, just like he had a brand new bow for the archer. There was an upgraded set of Black Widow's Bites too, along with a set of knives that had their own secrets and could be easily hidden. He had at least half a dozen prototypes for new armor for Clint, Nat and Captain America, and all of it was just waiting for him to be brave enough to hand them over.

But Clint had been bored, and it was easier to give him joke arrows than ones that actually meant a damn.

"Could you equip maybe half of them with timers?"

"As long as you promise you won't shoot any of them inside the tower." Clint pouted and Tony folded like a cheap suit. "Okay, okay - one with and one without a timer so you know how they fly. But only where we have wooden floors and no furniture! Glitter is a bitch to clean up, you know. It's like sand - gets everywhere and you're finding it in the weirdest places for weeks afterwards. Once I had to deal with glitter on a _beach_ and it was like a Lovecraftian nightmare. Had this sand and glitter between my... uh. You probably don't want to hear that part of the story."

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me? We are going to a bar right now and I want to hear the whole story, start to finish. In return you can pick one of my missions and I'll tell you what _really_ happened."

"How would I know enough about your missions to pick one?" Tony tried for an innocent look, but from the way Clint snorted he didn't wear it as well as he had when he'd been a doe-eyed twenty year old. "It's a fair offer though. SHIELD's reports are pretty dull."

"Handlers take out anything interesting. Oh, no asking about Budapest."

"Why nooooot?"

"Because the way you all keep asking about it is way too good to give up."

"Bet nothing even happened there."

"You'll never know."

"Whatever. Let's get out of here."

At first Tony thought that J had opened up the elevator for them so they could get in as soon as they reached the bank. Instead Captain America - perfect, manly, unfairly attractive Captain America - stepped out onto the common floor. His face lit up just a little when he saw them, which Tony was pretty sure was all because of Clint. Clint got along with everyone, and no, Tony wasn't bitter about that _at all_.

He also wasn’t thinking about how Captain America managed to look both adorable and sexy in his grandpa-style clothes... but that was mostly because he worried it would read on his face. Captain America wouldn't like having another man think of him like that, no sirree. So in case of sudden mind-reading spells, abilities, aliens or monsters or some shit, Tony only thought about that kind of thing when he was alone in the penthouse.

"Hey," the Captain greeted softly, awkward and handsome in a way only he seemed to be able to manage. "JARVIS said you guys were up here."

"Not for long," Clint said while slinging an arm over Tony's shoulder. He couldn't help but lean into the touch - Rhodey and Pepper had both accused him of being touch-starved, which was patently untrue. He was just tactile. Dammit. "We're going to a bar so I can listen to ‘Tony's Tales of Debauchery'."

" _Former_ debauchery," Tony muttered, eyes flicking to and away from Captain America's face. "This happened maybe fifteen years ago."

"Bet it's not even close to the craziest story you have. I might have to try and get you drunk so I can hear more." He just rolled his eyes at the tease, shoving against Clint without actually pushing him away. When he looked back up, Captain America's expression was strangely tight as he looked between them, and he couldn't help but flinch a little. It was like he offended the guy just by existing sometimes.

"Sorry Legolas. I don't drink to get drunk anymore, and if you slip anything in my drink I'm kicking you out on your ass."

"No you wooon't," he sing-songed before pressing a loud smooch on Tony's temple just to be obnoxious. "You love me and would never make me homeless that way. Because I can't go back to living at SHIELD after such extravagance, Tony. I just can't. Also, I am deeply wounded that you think I would do anything at all to a drink of yours. Cut to the core. Hey Steve, you wanna come with?"

Tony was careful not to let himself hope his childhood hero would come along. Careful to the point where he didn't even look at the guy, actually. He felt Captain America's steady gaze on him though, and he was pretty sure the man looked between him and Clint a few times.

"I... think I'll pass. I have, you know. Drawing to do."

"You sure Cap? Didn't you come up here to--"

"Just to draw or maybe watch a movie." He could have done both those things in his own room, and Tony had a feeling Captain America was upset he was going to be left behind. Not like it was his fault - the man out of time had been invited along. It wasn't Tony's problem if he didn't want to come let loose because he had a stick up his ass or whatever his problem was. "Thanks for the invite, but you go ahead Clint. Have a fun time. You too, Tony."

"Thanks," he muttered before dragging Clint towards the elevator. Tony didn't want to do this awkward turtle dance, not when it hurt his heart just a little bit. He'd rather be drinking and swapping stories with Clint.

The last thing he saw before the elevator doors closed was Captain America looking down at the floor, hands clenched into fists at his side. His jaw was tight with something that looked a lot like disappointment. He didn't even have a sketchbook, Tony realized suddenly. The guy definitely hadn't come up to the common floor to draw - he had wanted company. Before he could call out a second invitation, try to convince him to come along, the door slid shut.

It was fine though. Captain America wouldn't want to hang out with him anyway.

~.~.~

Bruce might swear by leaf-flavored water, but Tony would commit murder if he didn't get regular infusions of coffee. Despite that, he allowed Bruce to make him one cup of tea every morning just to try. He had to be wearing a bitch face as he looked down into his cup to see the current attempt at conversion, because his science bro was chuckling into his own mug. A happy Brucie warmed the cockles of his long-dead heart, so after a moment he bit the bullet and grabbed the offering.

"Better not be that herbal bullshit," he muttered. Bruce just smirked at him, which could mean any number of things. It was also a victory so profound that he never needed to compete in anything ever again. The Olympics could suck it - he had made Bruce Banner feel at home enough that he was chuckling and smirking instead of flinching. Better than a gold medal any day.

"It's black tea, Tony. A Yunnan blend - just try it. You might like it."

"Anything's possible. Cheers!"

He fought a grin as Bruce toasted him right back, and they took a sip in concert. The tea was the perfect temperature, and who the fuck knew how Bruce managed that every single time. Tony would suspect magic if his science bro didn't swear it off as fervently as he did. So he could take a pretty good gulp right off the bat, and he tried to do the thing Bruce talked about where he 'rolled it over' his tongue to try and catch 'all the particular notes of the flavor'. There was maybe a bit of chocolate or something? Maybe some spice?

"It's not awful. I guess?"

"You don't have to like it Tony. I just appreciate you trying it. Should I start up the coffee?"

Tony considered the lingering taste in his mouth - it really wasn't bad. Sure it wasn't something he’d want to drink everyday and he was definitely going to have to make some coffee once he hit the workshop, but still. A second sip cemented that fact so he waved Bruce off.

"Nah. Not today. I'll finish this first. You're never going to really convert me, by the way. Especially since some of the shit you drink is just..." A shudder went through him, one that originated in his traumatized taste buds. "Whatever the hell you gave me last Saturday still haunts my dreams, Brucie. Why I still entrust you with selecting a morning blend for me to try I have no idea. I know I like to live life on the edge, but this is extreme even for me. Being Iron Man is less dangerous to my health - to my tongue, at least - and I'm pretty sure you could dump a ton of poison in any of this crap and I wouldn't be able to taste it. I'm leaving myself open to a lot of risk here, Brucie-bear. I hope you appreciate it."

"I do, Tony. I really do."

He got the uncomfortable feeling that Bruce was talking about a lot more than just the whole tea drinking thing. Usually he would be hot-footing it out of the room, because emotions gave him hives. But his science bro was smiling a soft, gentle smile that showed just a hint of dimple and crinkled around his eyes. It was probably the happiest, the brightest, he had ever seen the guy look - positive reinforcement had to be given. High-tailing it wouldn't give Bruce any incentive to keep smiling like that. Sacrifices to his own comfort had to be made.

So he just did his best to smile back and hoped he didn't look too uncomfortable with the unspoken 'thank you'. In case it showed he took another long sip of the latest tea experiment - this stuff really wasn't too bad.

"Okay. Tea is not my thing, but this is my favorite of everything you've made me so far. Keep in this vein, Brucie-bear. No more of the flowery herbal crap."

"The 'flowery herbal crap' is more relaxing, you know."

"Well there you go. I like to be tense."

"Uh-huh."

"No, no. It's true. I can't science or math if I'm too mellow. I require a hint of jittery anxiety in order to reach peak performance."

"Riiiight. And let me guess - that's not a bug, it's a feature."

"You're the pinnacle of perfection and don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise." Bruce rolled his eyes and even blushed a little, but he had that little smirk tugging at his lips again, so Tony was pretty sure he was pleased. "Hey, what are you doing later? I've been playing with energy solutions lately and I think some of it might be right up your alley. I could use another set of eyes, if you don't mind. Then we could blow shit up for a while or work on the Hulk Pants problem if you'd rather be productive."

As Bruce was mulling the invitation over, Captain America wandered into the common kitchen. He was clearly fresh from the gym - so fresh he hadn't even showered yet, which shouldn't have been as attractive as it was. Tony thought a lot of that came from the way Cap was much more loose-limbed than usual. He looked almost happy, or at least his face wasn't as tight as it usually was. It was a good look on him, and the way he liked his shirts at least two sizes too small certainly didn't hurt.

"Hey Cap."

"Bruce. Tony."

He had been the one to say 'hey', but Bruce got greeted first. That was... it was fucking fine, that's what it was. Didn't matter and it definitely didn't hurt his feelings. He wasn't a little kid anymore and he had learned not to be so goddamned sensitive. Tony was definitely not going to let it get to him. He wasn't sulking into his mug either.

"Morning Steve. Do you want some tea?"

Captain America paused halfway to the fridge, and Tony could read hesitation in his expression. He knew that look intimately.

"Has Brucie been forcing you to experiment with tea too? Because just as a warning he tried to kill me last Saturday."

"Tony," his science bro was trying not to laugh - another victory. "For the last time--"

"He says he wasn't trying to poison me, but I don't believe him. I'm telling you Cap - don't trust this man's leaf water."

"I dunno. Sometimes if you add enough sugar it almost tastes like something."

Tony almost spit his latest sip of tea out at the hint of humor that had left Captain America's mouth. He choked and spluttered for a second, and when he managed to swallow and then look up he got another surprise. The guy looked almost smug, with a hint of a smile playing around his mouth and eyes. Bruce was play-scowling - another victory even if it didn't belong to him - and it was kind of awesome.

"He lets you use _sugar_?" Tony's outraged demand was met with laughter from _Bruce Banner_ and _Captain frigging America_. He was almost giddy with the success of it, which was ridiculous of him. Maybe he would have felt worse about that if it wasn't the first time he had actually managed to make Cap laugh. Hell, he could count on his fingers the number of times he had even heard the sound before. It was a really, really big development... and he was terrified that if he stuck around he was going to find a way to ruin it. "You both make it so hard to leave--"

"Where are you going?" Captain America was frowning again. Tony already missed the smile and hated himself a little for being the one to take it away.

"Alas, I have oodles of work waiting for me. We're getting close to a couple major breakthroughs at SI." Usually that was all he would give, because he didn't think Cap would be interested. Bruce might be though, and he did still have Cap's full attention. "I've got a couple different solutions from R&D that I need to play with - and I'd still love for you to come play with me, Brucie - to see which has the most potential. Clean energy is only a few 'eureka' moments away and I didn't need a damned Tesseract to get there. Loki and Fury can both suck it." Tony was pretty sure that was another laugh Captain America was hiding behind one hand. It was pretty much the best day ever, and he definitely needed to get the fuck out of there. "Hope to see you in a couple hours Bruce. If you bring anything but coffee into my workshop I will have to ban you. Later Cap."

Tony drained his tea while his fellow Avengers murmured their goodbyes. He got the hell out of dodge before he ruined everything and made Cap hate him again. It was kind of annoying how downright happy he felt after making Cap smile - no one should have that much sway over his emotions, not even his childhood hero. But whatever, it was fine. They'd finally managed to have a positive interaction, which meant there was hope for another one and even a third. Maybe - just maybe - they could even get to the point where Tony could claim that Captain America was his friend.

Hope could be a cruel thing. Tony had learned that both early and often, and he was hesitant to give into it again. But he'd heard Cap laugh, he'd seen Bruce Banner smile brighter than the sun, and he been the cause of both. He could give hope one more shot when it came to this.

Tony guessed he'd never really gotten over the small, fragile hope that Captain America might learn to like him after all.

~.~.~

"Sir."

Tony didn't let JARVIS interrupt his concentration, just kept right on working. His AI was probably just going to tell him something he already knew - like how it had been two days since he'd slept in a bed or that he was an hour overdue for a smoothie fix. None of it mattered as much as the numbers coming together in beautiful symmetry under his fingers. Math taking physical shape was probably the sexiest thing in existence. Why more young people weren't interested in engineering - which also included a gorgeous infusion of science - he didn't know. Probably their education was lacking. He should look into making more donations to STEM programs…

"Sir, will you _please_ \--"

"Yeah yeah, J. Sure. Whatever."

His AI's silence took on a pissy note that Tony knew was probably Not Good, but the circuitry he was working on was way more important than placating JARVIS. His music was still going strong after all, so it couldn't be that bad. If his Black Sabbath cut out then he knew there was real trouble. Until that happened he planned to keep putting the design from R&D through its paces. If it worked, if it could really prolong the life of Lithium-air batteries reliably... well. He would turn his own genius toward solving the short-circuiting problem and bam! The world would be one step closer to clean energy for all.

If the thought put a little wiggle in his hips as he grooved to his music... well. No one would know but his boys. J was the only one who would be able to tell on him, and the AI had seen way, _way_ worse things to use as blackmail. Besides - dancing while he worked was part of his process and he had mad moves anyway. His singing voice was a little more questionable, which was why he mostly only mouthed along while jamming out. He didn't need his boys judging him, which they absolutely would. So it was better to limit himself to the dancing and the lip syncing because he excelled at both.

No matter what one Miss Pepper Potts thought.

Dammit.

Between his amazing tunage and the brilliant work of an underling about to receive a huge 'your brain is beautiful' bonus, Tony lost himself to the flow of the workshop. He would absolutely deny it, but whenever a pop song entered the rotation... well. Work went by the wayside so he could shake what his mama gave him. They weren't sparse because he didn't enjoy them, oh no. More than one or two an hour just tended to tank his productivity rate. It was just that the damn things were so catchy and _danceable_. He could jump and flail to metal or hard rock with the best of them, but popular music got his hips interested like nobody's business.

So of course it was during Katy Perry's masterpiece entitled 'Firework' that he turned - with a very impressive flip of imaginary hair - and came face to face with Captain freaking America.

Tony lost hold of the large drill bit he had been using as a microphone. It clattered to the ground along with the shreds of his dignity. Damn thing landed on his foot too, because of course it did. He couldn't bite back the urge to cuss quick enough, and so the show continued with him swearing and hopping up and down on one leg because it had hurt like a _bitch_.

At least Cap wasn't watching him with a dropped jaw and flushed cheeks anymore. Fuck, he had managed to embarrass Captain America. The Man With a Plan had just been forced to watch him shake his ass and whip hair that he didn't even have, and Howard's fucking ghost was going to break through the door at any second to murder him.

Shame wasn't something Tony was well-acquainted with. He had a passing knowledge of the feeling, knew when it should be knocking on his door... but this was one of the first times he had actually answered. It had been a long, long time since he genuinely wished the ground would open up and swallow him. The physics of it would be mind-bending and world-shattering, but that was okay. Science breakage was a go if it got him the fuck away from Captain America, who was now smiling behind one goddamned hand.

Eye crinkles should not be so appealing, especially not on the faces of guys who hated him.

"This isn't funny," he managed, doing his best to glare and pretend he wasn’t embarrassed beyond belief.

"Sure it isn't."

"Listen here, you Star Spangled Sneak--"

"I've been here almost forty minutes, Tony." Wait, what? "JARVIS tried to tell you, but you kept ignoring him. Said I could stay long as I didn't touch nothin'." Dum-E took that as his cue; Tony hadn't even noticed that his eldest was standing close to Cap's back. Really close, actually - too close, bent near in half as he poked forward at the tennis ball the First Avenger held in his hand. Tony felt his eyes go wide and he pointed in a way that was probably a little overdramatic. Cap immediately hid it behind his back though, looking like a kid who'd gotten caught stealing cookies. It made Tony feel a little better. Dum-E gave a plaintive whistle and followed after it, probably in a bid to get Cap to throw it. "This don't count. It's his'n he wanted to play is all."

"You're playing fetch with Dum-E? No! I will not be distracted by your shenanigans, and as for you, you bucket of bolts--" The 'bot's cheerful, downright peppy whistle was completely wrong for the situation, but Tony didn't have the heart to tell him that. "You're supposed to tell me when we get visitors. I should donate you to a preschool, let them climb all over you."

"Aww, Tony--"

"Don't you 'aww Tony' me, Captain America. J, we're gonna enter lockdown mode, buddy. Nobody in or out of this workshop until I say so."

"Sir, is this _really_ necessary?"

"Yes. Yes it is." Cap looked a little panicked, and Tony thought maybe he was blushing again, which was weird. Any concern was misplaced though. Wasn't like Tony was going to kill him, or could even if he wanted to. Which he didn't but only because Cap was kind of smiling and laughing around him more lately.

"As this is not an emergency of any kind my protocols dictate that I contact Ms. Potts--"

"Don't you dare you spoilsport. I designed your code, J. A few keystrokes and all you're good for is being Siri's sidekick."

"I'm quaking in my metaphorical boots, Sir. Ms. Potts has indicated that if you have not released Captain Rogers within an hour--"

"Whoa!" That was Cap interrupting before he could, and he sound just a little outraged. "Tony ain't... I'm not a prisoner, JARVIS. Tell Ms. Potts I'm just fine and she doesn't need to worry, will ya?"

"I mean..." Tony started while J gave an 'of course'. "Prisoner is a harsh term, but I'm afraid I can't let you leave. Not yet anyway."

"Uh... what? I don't--"

"You have seen something that cannot be unseen," Tony intoned, going for drama and playfulness. Cap seemed in the mood to indulge both him and his silly 'bot. He wasn't above capitalizing on that. The fading pink on Cap's cheeks came back full force - he guessed nobody had danced like that back in the 40s. "So I'm afraid I can't let you go, Captain."

"Aww, c'mon. It wasn't that bad. It was just..." he trailed off, swallowed hard - fuck, fuck, fuck, Tony had probably scarred him for life - then shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. "Just dancing, is all. I didn't know that, uh. You could dance. Like that. It was...." Cap searched for a word, then swallowed again. "New," he finally managed, voice sounding a bit choked.

"Not really - it's just not something I do in front of other people. Ever. Well, Rhodey's the exception, obviously, and I buy massive amounts of shoes to keep Pep quiet about anything she stumbles upon me doing down here." Which was money well fucking spent and much more likely to work than a standard issue NDA. "J probably has videos for his blackmail folder - yeah, don't think I don't know about that or about how Rhodey got those photos of me, you traitor - but honestly this is peanuts compared to everything else he has. But you? Uh-uh. Oh no. You don't get to leave this room until you gimme some dirt on you so that we're even."

"Is that right?" There was a smile playing around Cap's mouth again, and Tony hated the thrum of happiness that started up in his veins. "Well I'm gonna have to disappoint you, I guess. 'Cause I can't think of anythin' I could tell you that'd compare to that."

"I'd start thinking of a convincing lie then, Spangles, or we're going to be down here a looooong--"

"Captain, Ms. Potts would like me to assure you that the doors will open in a little less than an hour. She offers her sincerest apologies for Sir."

"... did... did my CEO just apologize for _all of me_?" That was so insulting, and so rude, and so very very hurtful... and Cap had started to laugh so that was fine. He could handle Pep being mean if it meant he got to watch a full-body laugh roll through that powerful frame.

Once that was over, Cap threw the tennis ball for Dum-E. The ease with which he did it suggested they had been playing for a while, which was absolutely sweet but it did not mean that Cap was any different from Howard's stories of him. Probably the guy just wanted a dog or something, or maybe he was bored. He wasn't playing fetch with the silly old 'bot because he cared about Dum-E's _feelings_.

When Dum-E went after it with a shrill whistle of pure joy, Captain America tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. Jeans that were a vast improvement over the khakis but could also be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. Maybe even torture. It was hard to remember that Captain America wouldn't like him ogling when the guy just looked so damned good. How was he supposed to not stare at that?

"I don't really need Ms. Potts rescuing me. Even if JARVIS didn't open those doors in an hour, you still wouldn't get nothin' outta me." The twinkle in those blue eyes was just... ugh. Fuck, the guy was smiling, and... and... and _twinkling_ at him, and this wasn't how it was supposed to go. They snapped and snarled at each other when they weren't ignoring or circling each other warily. They weren't friends or the kind of people who just joked around... but there Cap was with a shit-eating 'what are you gonna do about it' kind of grin on his face. He was even rocking back and forth on his heels, like he was expecting Tony to break rank and give chase, like this was all a big game.

They'd had only a handful of encounters where things had gone even half as well. Tony should run away before he ruined it, but... he also never wanted it to end.

"Look, if you're overthrowing Pepper's tyranny and declaring an end to her sovereign rein... we could be in here all night Cap. I've got all the time in the world and an awful lot of projects to work on. You're gonna get real bored, real fast."

"Mebbe. Except I bet if I asked you'd give me some paper and a pencil."

Curses. His opponent knew him too well. Apparently. Which was weird because they hardly ever even _talked_.

"All I have down here for food is coffee and my yummy chlorophyll smoothies. You won’t like any of it and you’re going to get hungry enough to bargain eventually."

"Even you have to eat more than that, Tony."

"Maybe. But I don't have a super soldier metabolism to worry about."

"Hmmm... guess that's true," Cap acknowledged with a little nod of his head. "And I did come down to ask if you wanted to mebbe go grab a bite at one of the food trucks nearby. So I guess my clock's gonna run out a little faster than yours." Tony's brain had ground to a halt, because what the fuck? Captain America had popped down to ask him to dinner? A friend-dinner, obviously, but still. They did not do dinners. Shit, Cap said he'd gotten there a while ago, and he had _waited_ , which was just... fuck. That was world altering information there. "Still. I got no blackmail to give ya. You said you buy Ms. Potts shoes, right?"

"Cap. I will buy you so many shoes. All the shoes. J--"

"Tony, no," he interrupted, for once doing it with laughter instead of scorn. "I don't want shoes, ya mook."

"Still. What must I give in return for your silence?" With those words, Captain America's cheeks again turned pink. His shoulders hunched as his smile turned unsure, and fuck if the guy didn't look _shy_.

"Do you think... look, it's stupid but..." he paused to chew on his lower lip, which just about killed Tony right on the spot. It was a struggle not to bite down on one knuckle when Captain America then somehow managed to look up at him through his lashes. The guy was at least a foot taller than him, so that should not be possible but it was giving him very inappropriate thoughts, and holy hell. Tony was going to give him whatever he wanted. "Do you think maybe you could call me Steve?"

"...what?"

"You don't have to!" Ca... Steve hurried to say, cheeks flushing darker as both his hands lifted into the air. "It's just... I know we got off on the wrong foot Tony, and I'm real sorry about that even if you usually won't let me say it. Things being sideways in my head was no excuse for the way I acted back then, and I hope you--"

"Cap. Steve. It’s fine. Loki's staff had us all acting a little kooky."

"Even before we were in the room with the staff I was acting like a jerk, Tony. I just..." Tony was kind of fascinated by how easily Steve seemed to blush. Maybe when you were pale like that it didn't even mean anything and he shouldn't read into it, but... it was really something to watch happen. "Things were sideways in my head, and I didn't... I didn't even really wanna be... and you're so much, Tony - in a good way, honest, but I wasn't ready for anything good. That's no excuse and my ma would tan my hide for being so rude and never apologizin' proper. None of that was really about you, Tony. I was being an ass and then I didn't know how..."

Tony was gaping like a landed fish and couldn't do anything to stop it. Captain America - _Steve_ \- was a babbling, nervous mess. Steve Rogers was apologizing, to _him_ , and he was so sincere and earnest that it kind of hurt. People did not get like that over him, not really. But Captain America was. Howard's long-lost friend and hero, the one who could never, ever find a single redeeming quality in someone like Tony, seemed like maybe he wanted to be friends.

"I didn't know how to fix it," Steve said, eyes frank and fixed on his. "Still don't really know if you wanna. But I do, Tony. So maybe you could start with my name and come eat some tacos with me? I won't tell anybody about your dancing if you do."

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do. We are not going to only get tacos - dessert is the best part of any meal. Because I am a generous man, I will let you decide if we're going for ice cream or pastries. And Steve? I said some shitty things that I didn't mean back then, and I thought after that you wouldn't want to be anything more than teammates. Super happy to know I was wrong, but this is absolutely not the bribe I am using to buy your silence. We're friends, I'm sorry for that bad first impression, and now we will never speak of that again. Hey, how are you on art supplies? Because I can definitely see using art supplies to keep you from running your mouth."

Getting Steve to smile - the real, full, brilliant version - was just as much a victory as getting Bruce to do it. Even as he debated hotly about what sort of 'bribe' was appropriate (no, I don't want my own _store_ , Tony, and not a gallery either) he never let his face drop into the scowl Tony was so used to seeing. His own grin was stretched from ear to ear, and there was a warm, happy feeling in the region of his heart that he couldn't force himself to ignore. So what if he was being emotional? Captain America wanted to be his friend. Howard Stark could suck it.

Tony had grown up knowing with absolute certainty that Captain America was going to hate him. He guessed it was a good thing that _Steve Rogers_ seemed to have a different opinion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things that are different from canon!!
> 
> One is that I totally get that the MCU Clint Barton is derived from the character as written in 'The Ultimates' run... but I don't like him so much. XD I like the 'Avengers Assemble'/'Hawkeye' Clint Barton, so that's the characterization I'm going with.
> 
> Two is that, in this story, Tony and Pepper never actually dated. They are super close, but not romantically interested in each other. They are very much 'ride or die' tho, along with Rhodey. XD


	3. Touch Me (Not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this chapter and the next up yesterday, but editing didn't happen in time. ;.; I don't know if I'll get the next one done tonight, but it'll be up tomorrow if not!
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments are super-duper appreciated. <3

Back when he'd been a skinny bit of nothing, Steve had known that he was going to die alone.

Sure he'd have Buck - maybe, an ugly voice inside had whispered sometimes, unless his best friend and brother found a woman that could keep his interest, and then what what he want with small, skinny, needy Steve - but there wasn't a white picket fence at the end for him. Wasn't even going to be a lousy apartment he could barely afford, at least not one that had a wife and kids living there with him. No, little Stevie Rogers wasn't what any dame was looking for, and anyhow it was only a matter of time before a winter came that was too long and too cold for him to survive.

Nah. Steve had known he'd never have any of it, and he'd been mostly okay with that. It had been a little harder to come to terms with the way he sometimes thought he wouldn't mind coming home to another _fella_. He'd kept that quiet and didn't think much about it, because that was even less of a possibility. Going to look for it would only end in him bloody and bruised in some back alley and Buck being ashamed of him. So there wasn't gonna be a fella or a dame, no kids or even a dog. It was gonna be him all alone at the end, and that was just the way things were. Hadn't stopped him from dreaming sometimes, but he'd never really expected it to change.

Captain America had changed everything.

There were all kinds of dames throwing themselves at his new body, and a few fellow soldiers had discreetly offered up a night of 'stress relief' as well. It felt like a lie whenever he gave in though, because none of them wanted Steve Rogers. They wanted the muscles and the bravery, not the artist with knobby knees. All of them whispered praises about how he looked, crooned into his ear everything they wanted to do with that body... and he let them. He had gone so long without anyone but Bucky touching him that he sometimes felt starved for it. What he got as Cap was a far cry from a friendly arm slung around his shoulder, and it was enough to have some part of him purring with contentment.

There was also something shameful in it though, something that made him feel small all over again. None of it meant anything, after all. Nobody who mattered ever really touched him. Well, Buck was the obvious exception because he always was, and Peggy had brushed her fingers against his a few times. Otherwise, it was all just skin on skin, and it was all meant for Captain America, not little Stevie Rogers who was still going to die alone.

He'd maybe developed a _thing_ about touching. And maybe he'd carried it into the future with him along with the depression and what one of the SHIELD shrinks had called 'passive suicidal ideation'. Steve had only seen her three times - he'd liked her, but Fury had moved him to someone else's care pretty quick. Steve guessed that maybe nobody wanted to admit that he wasn't all that invested in coming 'home' from whatever his next mission was. They found him a shrink who was mostly quiet, and now he and Steve spent one hour a week staring at each other.

The way Tony Stark seemed to just... just _touch_ everyone and everything had initially gotten his back up. And sure, they'd both been in their superhero get-ups, but having yet another person call him 'Cap' when they touched him just... it just dredged up everything he'd been trying so hard not to think about. Howard's son was attractive, brilliant, and an amazing fighter; he was everything Steve used to let himself dream about in the dark of the night. He was also crass, took arrogance to breathtaking new levels, and he touched people like it meant nothing.

He didn't even use anyone's real name when he did it, which had Steve gnashing his teeth in righteous anger long before Loki's staff had come into play. It was easy to reject every bit of good he could see in Tony - and Christ, there was so much of it if you knew how to look - and focus on that instead. He told himself that Tony was everything he hated about the future combined with everything he'd hated about his past, and Steve had tried so, so hard to hate him too.

It was impossible though, and Steve gave up the effort before long. Before they all had moved into the tower even, back when Tony had been hanging out at SHIELD. Watching the billionaire try not to belly ache about the facilities and the tech had been hilarious. He also spent most of their 'movie days' watching Tony instead of the screen. Training with Iron Man was as amazing as it was frustrating. His mind took turns Steve could never hope to predict, which was fine except for the way Tony usually forgot to tell the rest of them the new plan. When the two of them were in sync with each other, it was dazzling, one of the most exhilarating things Steve had experienced. When they _didn't_ work, it ended in shouting matches and Steve walking away with fury sizzling in his veins.

Steve was head over heels for the guy within a month of staying in Avengers Tower. Not that Tony noticed, because Steve couldn't help but get tense and awkward whenever they were together as Tony and Steve. Captain America and Iron Man did better sometimes, but that just made everything feel even more hopeless. He’d thought maybe Tony wasn't interested in knowing Steve - hell, he still had been refusing to even use his actual name at that point. Everyone else was 'Thor' or 'Clint' or 'Nat' - 'Brucie-bear' was one that left Steve especially angry and hurt.

But then, miracle of miracles, he found out that Tony didn't hate him. He was even interested in being friends which was just... just great news. Mostly. Well, it gave Steve a way to test the waters at least. Being Tony's friend would be enough, would _always_ be enough... but maybe they had the chance to be more too. Either was fine, because Tony was finally calling him _Steve_ and asking about his art projects. The man was so much better at explaining all the new tech and such he was surrounded by - even managed to do it without treating him like a complete moron while he did it. He let Steve mother hen him, gave him full access to the workshop, and they had standing 'dates' - friend dates, ones where Steve was desperate to grab Tony's hand but couldn't - every Sunday and Tuesday.

It took Steve a while to figure out that there was still something wrong. When it finally hit him, he'd gone to the gym in the tower and worked his way through three of Tony's 'indestructible' punching bags.

Tony never touched him.

Everyone else got shoulder clasps, handshakes, hugs, an arm around the shoulders... and he got _nothing_. Tony and Clint were especially cuddly, and he knew that shouldn't piss him off as much as it did. It was his own damn fault, after all. He had been the one to shun every initial attempt made by Tony. He'd flinched, dodged and brushed it off enough that Tony had stopped trying. Random fans on the street got more casual touches from the genius than he did, and his bitter jealousy meant the punching bag version had gone from 1.2 to 3.8.

He didn't know how to fix it, didn't know how to say 'hey, could you please start touching me' to a friend. When he thought about it, really thought about it, Nat and Thor were the only ones who ever did. They were the same friendly, familial touches he'd gotten from Bucky and it didn't take long until it didn't feel like enough. How did you tell someone that you wanted to wrap them up in a hug? How could he ask Tony to snuggle up to his chest so Steve could tuck that dark head of hair under his chin? How was he supposed to let Tony know that he might wither up and die if Tony didn't start granting him the same level of casual intimacy that he gave the rest of the Avengers?

Even trying would make him an ass. Tony might not be interested in touching him, but if he was asked Steve knew the man would feel obligated. He didn't want that. He didn't want to make Tony uncomfortable.

Despite that, he couldn't make his crush go away. So even now that his body felt more like 'Steve' than 'Captain America', even now that he could like another fella without ending up broken and bloody for it... well.

Little Stevie Rogers was still probably going to die alone.


	4. Making Whoopee... Eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG, this is so late. ;.; If you want the 'why' explanation, you can check out the ending notes. XD
> 
> Next two chapters might go up Tuesday morning instead of Monday night, depending on my internet situation! They's written, just not edited or coded.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, and thanks so much for all the kudos and the lovely comments!!! <3 <3

" _U tebya vse v poryadke?_ "

Steve's mind stumbled over the question - Russian was harder than he had thought when he'd asked Nat to teach him. He still loved it though, even when she spent hours refusing to speak English to him. The language was completely new, with no real associations to anything in his past. Sure he'd heard it a few times at the front, but not often. Hearing it from Nat's lips never sent him back, never had his brain making connections that threw his thoughts into a downward spiral.

She was patient as well, which was nice. Nat never seemed to mind when it took him a couple seconds to clumsily translate in his head and another few moments to ponder how to answer back in the same language.

He couldn't help but sigh as he looked over at the reason she'd asked the question. Tony - it was always Tony - and Clint were playing some video game that involved shooting at each other. Steve wasn't sure which one it was, because they all looked the same to him. He liked the more stylized stuff, like Mario and Spyro; he always knew what he was playing. His teammates were happy with the ones that were supposed to be all 'realistic' though, and Tony and Clint seemed to be having a good time. A really good time, one that involved leaning heavily against each other while they trash talked. Sometimes they'd throw elbows or sling an arm around each other's shoulders. Every time he won a round. Clint would press a smacking kiss to Tony's cheek and Steve knew Tony was only pretending to hate it. They were close and comfortable with each other, seemed to be constantly touching, and if he didn't know better he would absolutely think they were going steady.

Steve was sitting all the way across the room. He'd been by himself until Nat came in and sat on the table instead of the chair next to him. It had been long enough since she'd spoken that she probably already knew the answer; she had reached out to start running her fingers through his hair, nails dragging over his scalp in a comforting dance.

He gave the question a little more thought - was he okay? Eventually he shrugged and gave another little sigh, eyes still fixed on the guy who'd stolen his heart.

" _Ya ne znayu_."

"If you keep staring," she said quietly, sensing he wasn't really in the mood for a Russian lesson. "He's going to catch on fire. That or you'll manage to actually kill my archer with a look and then I'll have to kill you."

"Don't look like your archer right now." Sulking was childish and wouldn't change anything, but it was really hard not to pout. "Looks like he might be someone else's."

A bony knee hit his side hard enough to knock the breath out of him. Nat's face stayed serene but her eyes were sharp when he looked over to glare at her. "Don't play at being an idiot Steve. It doesn't suit you." Her knee retreated and her fingers delved back into his hair, so he knew she wasn't that upset with him. "He's been mine since he decided not to kill me, but he isn't _only_ mine. Now we are Avengers, so the both of us belong to you. Also to Tony, Thor and Bruce. So he's not mine alone, but he _was_ mine first. So I will have to kill you if your jealousy hurts him. Them's the rules."

Her attempt at a Brooklyn accent drew out a bark of laughter. Tony turned their way at the sound, and Steve forced a smile onto his lips before quickly averting his gaze. Probably everyone knew that he was always staring at the genius, but the genius _didn't_. Steve didn't need that to change.

Well, not unless it meant that Tony felt the same way. Then he'd be just fine with both of them staring at each other all damn day, and who cared who saw it.

"The rules, huh? I didn't think you followed none-a those."

"I do when they suit me."

"How noble."

"It's the martyr in me."

He couldn't help but start to laugh, a real one this time with shoulder action and everything. Nat looked like the cat who'd gotten into the cream when he peeked up, her mouth curved into a barely-there smile. She ruffled his hair one last time and slipped from the table; he mourned the loss of both her company and the way she'd been petting him. The look she gave him while crossing to the couch was very much 'double-dog dare ya', and the skinny kid from Brooklyn had _never_ passed on one of those. So up he got to pad after her, doing his best not to gulp when she plopped down next to Clint.

It meant he'd be sitting next to Tony, who was looking over at him again while the archer gleefully shot Tony's character full of holes. This time the smile he offered was genuine - the genius' answering smile lit up his whole face. It was enough to make a guy blush, and it wasn't the first time he'd cursed his fair skin when Tony was around. He ducked his head to try to hide it but couldn't banish the grin from his face. Even though he was tempted to sit close enough that he and Tony would be pressed together from shoulder to knee, he collapsed onto the couch closer to the arm rest.

"Wasn't sure you were ever going to join us," Tony said, turning so he was only talking to Steve. He knew it shouldn't be anything that made him perk up, but he still did. "Want a turn?"

Video game turns were serious business at Avengers Tower, and there Tony was offering to hand his over. That prompted more blushing until it felt like his whole face and the back of his neck were on fire. "That's okay," he said quietly, knowing that his smile was too shy to be normal.

Tony didn't seem to notice, because he never did.

"Don't be such a sore loser, Tony," Clint teased, leaning against the genius heavily enough that he swayed toward Steve. It took everything he had not to jerk away, because he knew that would be easily misread. "You're only trying to give away your turn because I'm slaughtering you." Tony's growl prompted an elbow to the side from Clint, and Steve felt his eyes narrow despite himself.

"I'm only losing because I'm trying to compensate for repulsers my guy doesn't actually have," Tony retorted, playfully cross.

He liked that he was learning how to tell when the genius was _actually_ cranky.

It still wasn't nice of Clint to laugh and mess up Tony's hair. "Uh-huh. Sure. That's why I'm spanking you so hard. Whatever you say man. Also, if this is you trying to aim repulsers, I've gotta talk to Fury and get you in for some remedial target practice."

As soon as Tony's lower lip protruded in a pout, Steve put out one hand. "On second thought, looks like someone better take a pin ta Clint's ego before he floats away. That turn you offered still good?"

"Aw, no fair," Clint complained when Tony immediately handed the controller over. "No passing off turns mid-tournament. It's rude, is what it is. You're only doing it because you're losing."

"No, _I'm_ doin' it to defend his honor," he said before he stuck his tongue out at the archer. "He'd do just fine on his own."

"Ha! Not my fault I have a knight in shining armor." Tony turned towards Clint and gave him a light shove - probably because if Clint knocked too hard into Nat she would enter instant kill mode. "It's also not my fault that you don't. It's because he's rude," he added in an aside to Steve.

God, it felt like he was flying. Tony's attention always made him feel a little high, like that first full breath he'd taken after the serum. He was sure he looked like a twit with the way he was smiling hard enough that his cheeks hurt, but he just couldn't help it. Clint was still grumbling as he navigated the menus, which was kind of the icing on the cake. Nobody got to make Tony pout that way, not even if it was in fun.

He was so dizzy with the fella it was ridiculous. Buck would have a field day if he could see the way Steve was acting.

That thought was acknowledged for the warmth it gave him, then firmly set aside before it could bring him lower than the basement. It was more important to stay in the moment with Tony, Clint and Nat. Especially since now he could see they'd been playing one of the Call of Duty games. It was hard to keep an innocent look on his face but he did his damnedest. Everyone always forgot how good his spatial memory was, and Clint wouldn't know how well Steve knew all the maps until it was too late.

"You got a hanky or something I could wear close to my heart? A knight's gotta have the favor of his fella before going inta battle." A hint of color dusted Tony's cheeks, but Steve didn't flatter himself to think it meant anything. Probably the genius just didn't think Steve would take the game so far. Or maybe he was just surprised that Steve knew about that kind of stuff - Sarah Rogers had loved all the old tales about King Arthur and Camelot and things. It was amazing how much of it had stuck.

"Uhh.... I've got..." Tony was digging in his pockets and looked disappointed when he didn't discover anything in the front ones. He had better luck when he reached for his rear pockets, a triumphant grin breaking out on his face. "Ah-ha! It's kind of dirty though," he said when he got a good look at it, a frown tugging at his full lips. The cloth was clearly something he used in the workshop, covered in grease, oil, and who knew what else. "Maybe you shouldn't--"

"Nah. Give it here - match is about to start'n I'm gonna lose for sure without it." He wanted that stupid dirty rag more than he'd wanted just about anything since he'd woken up and lost everything. Tony wavered for a second but ended up handing it over. Feeling brave, Steve closed his fingers over Tony's while their gazes locked. For a heartbeat it felt like a moment, like maybe Tony was going to understand how gone he was. Instead he chuckled a little and pulled his hand away, leaving Steve holding the cloth. Disappointed and upset at himself for it, he tucked the thing into the collar of his shirt so that a corner of it was visible.

"Are you two done being gross? Because I for one would like to shoot someone until they dissolve into bloody chunks."

"Shaddup and get ready to lose."

"Bring it old man!"

"I will if you ever start the damn game."

Clint did, and pretty soon after that he was complaining about how unfair it all was. Steve killed him almost a dozen times before Clint finally managed to snipe him. He hadn't stopped grinning the whole time, and Tony was cheering him on all loud and enthusiastic. It was a great way to spend an afternoon, and he had fun even rafter Nat took over for Clint. She was a much harder opponent, and they entered what Tony called 'serious mode' in the span of half a match.

Eventually they called it a draw when Thor and Bruce joined them. Mario Kart was rolled out instead, but they only got through a few tracks before Thor cracked one of the controllers in his excitement. That was their cue to separate until dinner - it was Thursday, which meant after that they would throw on a movie that Thor picked. Tony had snickered like a child while laying out that rule, the god smiled indulgently at him the whole time.

They all wandered off, and Steve was pleased as punch when Tony walked with him to the elevator. Sure they were arguing over why Rainbow Road was awful - Tony didn't like how slippery it was while he was convinced that it took longer than usual to get put back on it after you went over the side - but they were both still grinning. It was such a good 'argument' that Tony even came all the way up to his floor and kept him in the elevator for a few more minutes.

And if after all that and their parting Steve still had that stupid dirty rag, that was his business. Nobody but JARVIS needed to know that he folded it up and tucked it into his nightstand, and that was only because he trusted the AI to keep quiet about it. Even if it had only been a joke, Tony had given Steve his favor and let him play the white knight.

It was a nice feeling, even if Tony had no idea what it had meant to him.

~.~.~

The gym at SHIELD had been a refuge, the only place he could find even the slightest hint of peace. He'd still hated it, mostly because he could tell it was a gym meant pretty much only for him. They'd stripped it of everything 'modern' and replaced it all with stuff he'd been familiar with already. Maybe it was supposed to be a kindness, but all it had done was make him remember. He'd keep right on remembering and hating Fury for it until he was deep into his workout. Four or five punching bags in, Steve would briefly be able to _breathe_.

The gym Tony had put together was a goddamn delight, and not only because Steve was sweet on the fella who'd supplied it. There was the expected stuff, sure. Weights and a sparring area and punching bags, but it all had a twist that was patently Tony Stark. Some of it was even robots, which was probably his favorite part. Well, unless he or Thor broke one of them on accident, because Tony would mourn and fuss over each piece of tech like it was one of his kids. Steve knew they weren't, that they didn't think or feel the same way as JARVIS, Dum-E, U and Butterfingers did. Tony still loved them though, so he did his best not to be _too_ rough on them.

It was his teammates who really made all the difference in the world. There was always a pair of discarded ballet shoes and a few knives littered around the place that belonged to Nat. One wall was usually covered in the results of Clint's latest 'fun' arrows, and the archer also tended to shed his practice bracers, shoes, shirts and sometimes his pants across the floor as he walked to the showers. The only sign of Bruce's presence was the yoga mat tucked in one corner, but he couldn't exactly train with them anyway. Thor left scorch marks on the floors and walls, and after the eighth time he'd cracked and blackened a mirror Tony had refused to replace it. It stood as a testament to the god's presence.

Tony... Tony was _everywhere_.

Steve could find a sense of peace and comfort in other places now that he had a home, but he still visited the gym frequently. It was nice to have a few people he could spar with where he didn't have to hold back as much. Thor was his favorite though, followed closely by Tony in the armor - with those two, he didn't have to hold back at all.

"A good fight, friend Steven!" Thor boomed, hefting his hammer over one shoulder. His eyes twinkled like they always did when he played the loud, obnoxiously cheerful tourist. "There were several times I almost feared I would break a sweat! You fight well, and you are truly deserving of the title of Shield-brother. Most mortals are so breakable, but not you Rogers-son--"

"Give it a rest, ya lug," Steve said, lips twitching form the effort it took not to smile. He _was_ sweating, which was rare outside of a real fight. His body ached pleasantly, and he had a few minor cuts and bruises that were already healing. "I know that ain't how you really talk."

"True, but I would hate to disappoint all my admirers. I must prove worthy of their adoration! How disheartened they would be if I were unable to measure up to their vision of me. It would be enough to make me weep, friend Steven, if they turned from me."

"Uh-huh. Sure it would." He finished the last of his stretches, sighing happily at the light pull in his muscles. It had been a good match, and it was just so nice to be able to let go. "You ever thought mebbe they'd be happier fawnin' over the real you?"

"Perish the thought! I must maintain my godly visage. It is the only thing I possess in this entire realm."

"My heart weeps for ya."

"You are a cruel man, friend Steven."

He grinned in answer and caught up to the god, both of them heading for the elevator. "How's things at home?" It was always a risky question, but he tried to ask it regularly. Thor's heavy sigh was answer enough, but he didn't mind when a muscled arm draped over his shoulders. Steve thought he was probably one of the only mortals that could support Thor's full weight and the god took regular advantage of that. It was actually kind of nice, having him lean so heavily against his side. Sometimes it felt like Buck was back, at least in spirit even if Steve would never--

"Alas, my brother is still not well. My father's patience grows thin and there is only so much my mother and I can do to sway him. I swear to you that he was not himself when he attacked Midgard." They had been over that several times, but Thor still sounded almost desperate for Steve to believe him. "Loki did not invade this realm of his own free will. To be honest... if he had decided to do so in truth, he would have done so with ease. His trickery may be the cause of much grief, but it could win him most of the nine realms if he ever applied himself. We are lucky that he is so fixed on ruling Asgard and that his emotions regarding even that are so mixed."

"Sorry he's struggling like he is. I know it's 'specially rough on you and your ma."

"She grieves for him," he agreed with another sigh. "And he is too stubborn to accept her aid the way he ought."

"You said he was tortured and all'n that's why did it, so it’s understandable he’s having trouble. I guess mebbe he won't ever be like he was. It'll prolly get better though. With time."

"We can only hope. I fear that if he does not find some measure of who he was soon my father will choose to confine him in prison instead of his rooms. Loki does not do well in small spaces where it is easy to become bored."

"I’m right there with him," Steve murmured as the elevator doors slid open again, signalling their arrival to the common floor. He might have kept asking about Loki, Frigga and Odin... but he was distracted pretty damn quick by a guest he hadn't been aware the Avengers were hosting. The reveal soured his mood instantly, undoing all the good his workout with Thor had done.

It wasn't that he disliked Colonel Rhodes, who insisted Steve not use his rank when they were in the tower. When they were one on one Steve thoroughly enjoyed their conversations. The man was brilliant, fierce and skilled, a credit to the Air Force and the country. He was glad Rhodes had been born in a time where he could achieve the high rank he deserved; he'd known too many soldiers held back by the color of their skin while white men less deserving claimed all the honor. Race relations had gotten better, even if he was learning that there was still a long way to go.

So yeah, he mostly liked Rhodes just fine. It was just...

"Listen my darling little love-bug. If you let them change the name of _my_ armor--"

"Excuse you? That suit is mine--"

"Only because you and Nat tricked me while I was dying! I was very drunk--"

"Oh, but the suit just magically fit my exact measurements, huh? Because I know enough about engineering to know that that didn't just happen, Tones. You made that suit for me." Rhodes followed his words with a kissy face, which made Tony giggle and Steve growl under his breath. "Thank you for the present, and if the Air Force wants to change the name of _my suit_ I damn well am going to let them."

"I'd hate you if I didn't love you so much. Please, please don't let them paint it red, white and blue. Please. If you do I'll never, ever, ever make you any upgrades ever again."

"Not my call. I serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States, and if he wants to paint my suit--"

"Jesus fuck. Whoever came up with the idea of focus groups should be shot."

Thor squeezed his shoulders, which was the only reason Steve realized he had come to a complete stop right outside the elevator. He glanced up at the god and found empathy in his expression. Every damn Avenger knew how he pined after Tony, who remained completely oblivious to the way Steve watched him.

Hell, with Rhodes there Tony hadn't even realized he was in the room. All of his focus was on his best friend who was more like a brother, and Steve knew he shouldn't be jealous. They almost never saw each other in person and they had been friends for decades - if Buck hadn't fallen and he hadn't gone into the ice, Steve thought they would have ended up that way too. So turning green with envy over the way Tony was draped over Rhodes' back made him a complete ass. Wishing Rhodes was far, far away so Steve didn't have to watch Tony crawl into his lap during movies was even worse. Hating the fact that Tony was hardly going to look at him for the length of Rhodes' visit was unworthy of him, and his ma would give him an earful over such shameful feelings if she could see him now.

"Do you wish to go elsewhere?" Thor's whisper was pitched so only he would hear it; the way the god let his voice boom and carry really was an act. "We could go to your quarters so I can marvel over your artistry, perhaps."

"Nah. It's... it's fine. I'm just bein'... I dunno. But it's fine. I'm fine."

"As you say. Friend Tony!" Suddenly Thor's voice was thunder-loud again as he pulled away from Steve and strode toward the couches. "I see we have a visitor. It is good to see you once again, Colonel Rhodes. It is a blessed event every time I find you here in Tony's company."

Thor was laying it on even thicker than usual, and Steve knew it was for his benefit. It was sweet, and the closest thing he had to family aside from Nat and the solyanka soup she made him whenever she thought his depression was getting the best of him. It had been so long since he’d had family, and he was starting to think he deserved to have one again. Maybe it was alright if he didn't cling to Bucky's memory quite so hard. Maybe he wasn't a terrible person if he tried to let his brother go so his memory could rest in peace.

Steve didn't bother to even pretend to be listening to the conversation going on as he wandered over to the fridge. He was thirsty, and the chance of nobody speaking to him was too high. If it happened he'd just get upset and have to go take it out on some poor canvas that didn't deserve to be treated so bad. The shrink who was sneaking around Fury to speak with him regularly would be proud of how self-aware he was becoming, even if she'd probably say his coping skills weren't exactly aces.

So as he sucked down his first bottle of water, using manners his ma would smack his bottom with a wooden spoon for, he deliberately ignored the other people in the room. Because he wasn't a wasteful jerk he refilled the bottle from the sink instead of just grabbing a new one. Clint and Nat made fun of him for it; Tony had put some kind of filter on the faucet and never mentioned it again. During that second bottle he didn't have to think so hard about not listening to anyone else, and by the time he was slowly sipping at the third he was busy thinking about whether he wanted to spend the rest of his afternoon painting or if he'd rather go for a walk. In fact he had almost forgotten that anyone else was in the room...

So of course that was when Tony laid a hand on his forearm.

Thank Christ he froze instead of jumping, even if he'd done it with the water bottle at his mouth. He probably looked a damn fool but the genius didn't pull away - that was the important part. It was hard to try and keep his eyes from going wide while swallowing enough water to keep from choking _and_ stay still enough to keep Tony right where he was, but he gave it his best effort. The water was going to do him in if anything was, so a heartbeat after his wonderful surprise Steve carefully lowered the water bottle. He and Tony were staring into each other's eyes and his face was on fire like it always seemed to be whenever the other man was around. It might have been romantic if he didn't know that Tony only saw him as a friend.

He was the one to break eye contact, swallowing hard before glancing toward the couches. Both Thor and Rhodes were watching with rapt attention which would have been bad enough. It was the judgmental arch of the latter's brow that really got to him, making his cheeks go even hotter. Another hard swallow almost brought enough moisture back to his mouth to talk, but it took just a little too long. When he turned his attention back to Tony the man looked concerned and that wasn't what Steve had been aiming for.

But his warm, calloused hand was still on Steve's bare arm, so. It was absolutely a mark in the 'Win' column.

"You alright big guy?"

"Um."

"Thor, did you hit him in the head?"

"I did not! Well, perhaps a time or two, but Steven is hardheaded enough to withstand even the mightiest of blows!" Steve would have told him to pull the act back a little if he could actually talk.

"Okay. We've gone over this. Until you liberate enough golden apples for all of us--"

"Friend Tony, I have told you that such an endeavor--"

"Ah ah ah! No. Until we've all had one of those delicacies, you need to remember that we're all mortal. I know that maybe Steve here confuses you, what with all the muscles, but you still can't smack him in the head with MewMew."

"Mjolnir," he managed to croak, eyes drifting briefly to Tony's hand before jerking back up. If he drew too much attention to the touching that was going on he was afraid it would stop. "I know ya know it's Mjolnir."

"Tell that to the fangirl who has both a taser and the will to fucking shock whoever the hell she meets. Have you ever been tased Steve? Because it sucks. Hard. Harder than I did in college, which--"

Steve choked on his own tongue at _that_ , and he did it loud enough that Tony began to 'helpfully' pound on his back. The added bit of contact didn't actually help at all. Neither did the way he could hear the peanut gallery snickering at him. It turned into a real cough quickly, until his eyes felt teary and his lungs were burning nearly as bad as his face. Tony was _still touching him_ as he gasped for air, now complete with a worried frown and a new water bottle at the ready for when his cough finally subsided.

He fell in love all over again, which just wasn't fair.

The way Tony grabbed hold of his arm and towed him over the couch almost made up for it. He didn't even mind when the genius plopped himself down into Rhodes' lap, because he was still lit up from the inside just from the simple touch of the man's hand. It was ridiculous of him, but at least he knew that. Self-awareness was fast becoming one of his better skills.

Thor seemed to think he needed cheering up though, because the god wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. There was an awful lot of cuddling going on. It was nice even if he didn't have his top choice of fella to be cuddling with. Better than nice, actually - he'd spent so long feeling alone that being close to people he trusted was still both wonderful and novel. So maybe he was a little green over how damn lucky Rhodes was, but it was hard to be really upset. He was surrounded by friends that were almost family, Tony had touched his arm, and even with Rhodes there the genius was still looking and smiling at Steve.

That was pretty much the definition of a good day. He was more than happy to take it.

~.~.~

Tony hadn't exactly cleared out a space for him in the workshop, not like the one Bruce had been given, but he still had an area that everyone considered his. It was pretty much the only clear patch of table space in the whole room. Sometimes he had to shove spare parts or schematics out of the way a little, and every once in a while there'd be a few mugs half-filled with sludge that had once been coffee. Whenever Tony noticed that he would hurry to clear it though, which was awful sweet of him.

He ended most drawing visits to Tony's workshop by setting up a mug full of his favorite pencils, but he never started out having it handy. Butterfingers like to take the mug and hide the pencils, and the silly 'bot would spend at least five minutes engaging Steve in a game of keep-away that almost always meant he wasn’t doing the real work Tony had given him. U would chase after the both of them, scolding in whistles, until Tony threatened to send them _all_ to the local grade school.

"The kids would love to have you there, Cap. You could put on the spangles and teach them life lessons," he would say while grinning. Steve strongly suspected Tony had found out about the PSA's Fury had forced him to record.

That would be enough to send the three of them back to work. Then it was Dum-E's turn, and he was the only one allowed to get away with shirking his real responsibilities. He was the one who would track down every pencil and bring them, one by one, back to Steve. The happy beeps he made whenever he was thanked were pretty damned adorable, and he seemed to thoroughly enjoy doing such an important job. Tony would flash the 'bot an affectionate, indulgent look whenever he thought nobody else could see him; all the 'bots received gentle pats no matter how badly Tony was scolding them at any given moment.

Sometimes he wondered what the hell had made Tony so gun-shy about showing real emotions about the things that mattered.

Dum-E handed over his last pencil, and he broke out into a brilliant grin. "Thanks Dum-E! That was the fastest you ever got 'em back to me yet." The 'bot lifted up straight and made a cheerful little sound that never failed to lift Steve's spirits. "Yeah buddy - you did great. Always do. Wanna get your ball? I can prob'ly throw it a couple few times before Tony starts hollerin'."

"Excuse you," Tony himself interrupted while Dum-E whizzed away to find his ball. "I don't 'holler'. I try to direct my _assistant 'bots_ to actually _assist_. It's a valid management style, Steve, and you should be more respectful of it."

"The other 'bots you're... 'managin' are playing tug of war with a pretty flashy looking wrench - that torque one ya got at mad at me for not knowin' about I think."

"How can you _not_ \--" Tony cottoned on to the important part of what Steve had said a couple moments slower than he should have, but he did get there. "Jesus fuck. U! Butterfingers! Put that down or so help me I will donate you to an animal shelter! That's right, not even kids anymore - you've been downgraded to kittens that will pee on you."

He'd seen in the movies how sometimes the main character would just prop their chin in one hand and sigh longingly while staring at their love interest; it took everything he had not to do just that. He still felt like maybe Tony would see little cartoon hearts dancing around his head. Nat assured him that he was very obvious about his pining and was just as sure that the genius had no idea. She called him pathetic in Russian every time he brought up the hopelessness of the situation, but she would also pet his hair and make him a medovik cake whenever he was feeling especially upset by it.

Steve didn't tear his attention away from the genius until he felt Dum-E gently press a tennis ball against his hand. "Thanks bud," he said before giving the 'bot's claw an affectionate rub. "Let's see where we got enough space... ah! Over there'll work. Just watch for that big pile-a junk, kay? If it gets knocked over we're gonna have to clean up instead-a playing." There was a beat where the 'bot processed the instructions, camera aimed in the direction Steve was pointing. Dum-E twisted his claw in a move that always reminded him of a dog cocking its head to the side, then let out a beep of acknowledgement. "Great. Ready? Go!"

Dum-E zoomed after the ball, making all kinds of noises that told Steve just how happy he was. He missed the ball on the first bounce - almost definitely on purpose - then got to chase after it again when it hit the leg of a table and headed a different way. A warm smile on his lips, he turned away to start drawing, because Dum-E always took a while to get bored enough to have someone throw the ball again. When he did though, it was to find Tony standing way closer than he had been, an unreadable expression on his face.

"You're good for him."

"Not as good as you," he pointed out while fighting a blush. "He loves you, ya know. I'm just entertainin', not anything real special to him."

"Excuse you? You are the special-ist, and not in a bad way or in a professional way because it kind of sounds like I'm calling you _a_ specialist, which is not... look. Pepper tries, she does, but she doesn't really get it. I mean, she doesn't scream in surprise when U brings her things anymore - she's his favorite, so he's always... she doesn't scream now. She'll even talk at him, but she doesn't even act like he's a dog or anything. So she tries, but she doesn't get it. My gummy bear does better, but he tends to get frustrated, you know? To him they are like dogs, but ones that are really badly trained. Which isn't their fault, by the way! I mean, I was really, _really_ drunk when I finished Dum-E, to the point where I hardly remember doing it, and when I was working on U I had a minor coke problem, and Butterfingers is the most normal of any of them and he's still always stealing shit so clearly I fucked up somehow. But you don't... you treat them like, you know. People. Really excitable and possibly dumb people, but still. You talk _to_ them, and you don't get bored of throwing the ball for Dum-E, you've never yelled at Butterfingers for taking your mug, and I know U has run over your feet at least three times today alone, but you never..."

Steve had the weirdest feeling that he was about to step out into a minefield, like maybe if he said the wrong thing Tony would withdraw into himself and never speak to him again. So he bought himself a little bit of time to get this _right_ , taking a moment to organize his pencils.

"Butterfingers won't take nothin' that's really special, you know? I left my compass down here once or twice'n it was always right where I left it. When I left those swanky colored pencils you bribed me with he didn't bother those neither. So he he knows, you know? That some stuff isn't for taking'n that some things aren't for playing with. And U's always trying to manage his brothers, same as you are. Has about as much success as you too." He was afraid to look up at Tony, terrified that maybe he was getting this all wrong. "He looks out for 'em, tries to make sure they won’t go poking at things that'd hurt 'em. And yeah, he runs over my feet but I know he feels bad about it. Whenever it happens he brings me somethin' before I leave, some little scrap of metal that he's shaped or once a bit of some glass or something that he polished until it was mirror-bright. Just you watch - he'll give me something to say 'sorry' before I get outta the room, bet your bottom dollar."

Dum-E returned and began nudging at his hand with that silly ball, and Steve felt his smile go soft. "And this one - he wants so bad to help out. He loves findin' all my pencils and makin' sure I get 'em back. Counts 'em, you know. If I try to start a sketch before he gets all seventeen back, my buddy here gets all kinds of upset, like he thinks he failed somehow. Once he couldn't find two of them, which was fine... but he wouldn't play fetch that day." He ran his hand down Dum-E's main strut, then gave his claw a few pats. "Wouldn't let me throw the ball even once until he found those last two." The 'bot whistled to acknowledge the affection but was quick to nudge his hand again. Steve relented and threw the ball again, then watched Dum-E chase after it before shrugging.

"'Course they're people Tony. Ain't all that dumb either."

When he finally chanced a look over at Tony, his breath immediately caught in his throat. There was an intensity in the genius' eyes that was usually only there when he was working on a particularly fascinating bit of engineering. At the same time some invisible bit of tension seemed to have vanished, and Steve only noticed it had been there at all now that it was gone. Suddenly Tony broke out into the brightest, most brilliant smile he'd ever seen. He felt almost blinded by it, dizzy with the possibility that _he_ had been the one to cause Tony to look like that, had managed to make the fella he mooned over that happy.

"So I know we don't hug, but I totally want to give you the biggest bear hug ever. Consider this an air hug, okay? Because nobody--" Tony bit off the rest of his sentence, shoulder going just a little tight as he looked away. "Most people _don't get it_. But you do and so yeah. Best and tightest air hug ever."

It was a risk, but he'd spend the rest of forever kicking himself if he didn't take it.

"Any reason I'm not gettin' a real one?" Tony froze, and an apology was immediately on his tongue. Before he could actually say anything though, the genius was on the move. He just about died when Tony wrapped him up in a fierce hug, doing his damnedest _not_ to just melt into it and beg Tony to never let go. Even if he'd spent all day working, he still smelled so good - like money, Buck would say with a grin - and Steve was finally, _finally_ allowed to tuck that tousled head of hair under his chin. It was probably the most perfect hug that had ever happened to anyone, and he'd fight anyone who said otherwise. "So why don't we hug, exactly?" he dared to murmur while his eyes drifted shut so he could really savor the moment. Christ, it was amazing to finally have Tony be so close, and he couldn't help but tighten his arms just a little when it felt like the other man might be letting go.

"I didn't... from what Howard said I didn't think you hugged," Tony said quietly, sullenly, fingers closing into fists in the back of Steve's shirt. The gesture brought every protective instinct he possessed to the forefront. His arms went tighter as he fought the urge to growl - Howard wasn't around to intimidate, and there wasn't any reason to make Tony uncomfortable. The guy who was Iron Man probably wouldn't want to be treated like he needed protecting anyway.

"I hug Nat'n Thor all the time," he pointed out as gently as he could. "I know you've seen it."

"Yeah, but you and Thor are muscle-buddies and Nat's the deadlier murder twin. You guys were bonding over mutual toughness, not... not..." Tony didn't seem to know how to finish that sentence, so he trailed off instead. Even if Steve couldn't see his face, he got the impression that the man was pouting.

"Nah. Was just hugging. No matter what Howard told ya, I like hugs." He gave Tony a squeeze to emphasize the point, because he was pretty sure he was dreaming anyways - might as well take advantage of it. There was no way Tony Stark had been hugging him so long, no way that he was really cuddling against his chest while holding tight to his t-shirt. It was happening though, and he was both the happiest he'd ever been and nearabout nervous enough to pee his pants. If he fucked this up... "You can always ask for a hug, Tony."

"Huh. Really?"

"Yeah. Back when... well. Back before Erskine and the serum I was just skinny little Stevie Rogers. Mebbe my ma and Buck never minded huggin'n stuff, but nobody else ever wanted to, you know? Everyone knew I was sickly'n mebbe no one wanted to get attached. Then the whole world was at war, _again_ , and dames wanted all those strappin' fellas going off to join up. They wanted to feel safe'n I don't blame them for it. Might have tried to get one of my own if I wouldn't have gotten beaten bloody for it." Tony made a small noise of surprise, and Steve felt himself start to blush furiously. "That part's not in the history books, I know. But I woulda been just as happy with a 'Peter' as a 'Peggy'. Knew I was never gonna have either."

"Bullshit," Tony said with a surprising amount of fervor. "I've seen the pictures. I would have cuddled the fuck out of skinny little Stevie Rogers. Someone would have snapped you up unless everyone back then was stupidly blind and ignorant."

Warmth spread through his whole body, heart skipping a beat before settling into a steadier, more solid rhythm. Other people had told him the same thing, but Tony was the first one that he _believed_. Sure it wouldn't have been romantic because there was no way Tony would want to kiss or anything else with that skinny, sickly version of him... but yeah. It was easy to believe Tony wouldn't have hesitated to get attached to little Stevie Rogers.

"Think you might be the only one besides Buck who'd rather cuddle with skinny Stevie than Captain America. After the serum everyone wanted to... I dunno. Got lots of 'cuddles' after that."

"... they didn't put that in the history books either. You're portrayed as a very straight virgin in most of them." Steve snorted and buried his nose in Tony's hair, letting himself breathe the genius in one more time. It was so, so hard to let him go, but hugs couldn't last forever.

"Just because I didn't ever go steady with anyone doesn't mean I'm a damn virgin. Just never met anyone worth committin' to. Well, Peggy was, but we didn't get there in time. Don't know why everyone today thinks nobody was havin' sex back then. We just weren't as loud about it."

It was Tony's turn to snort, and when he turned back to his work Steve wanted more than anything to just pull him into another hug. "Then maybe you weren't doing it right."

"Never had any complaints." That got a laugh, and then a comfortable silence fell between them. He threw the ball for Dum-E a few more times in between doodling - Tony had given him an idea. Nat's birthday was coming up, and she'd probably love a picture of her and Clint as the 'Murder Twins' with the rest of the Avengers as their 'Murder Squad'. It would tickle that dark sense of humor she had, especially if he could get his pencils and paper to behave enough to turn his ideas into some sort of comic.

"Hey Steve?"

It took him a beat to respond, because talking to Tony always drove everything else from his brain and he needed to finish the line he was drawing before that happened. "Yeah? Need me to hold or lift something for ya?"

"Pfft. I can lift anything you can. Might have to put the suit on first, but that's not cheating it's playing smart. And no. Just..."

"Just what?"

"I'd be just as happy to cuddle the fuck out of Captain America. Now that I know you're not hug-averse, buckle up buttercup. We are now people who hug."

The serious tone of his voice sent tingles of delight up Steve's spine, and if he'd been standing his knees probably would have gone a little weak. Christ, Tony was going to start hugging him. Tony was maybe going to _cuddle with him_. The days when he sighed and lamented over how Tony never touched him were over, and he couldn't wait to tell Nat. Maybe he'd get a medovik cake for happy reasons, or maybe he could even talk her into making one of them Tula pryanik things she talked about but refused to spend the time baking.

And for the first time Steve let himself wonder seriously if maybe he _did_ have a chance with Tony after all. Maybe they could be more than friends after all, because even if Tony was pretty tactile sometimes, hugs between friends didn't usually last for five minutes. That felt more like a romantic thing, and maybe it wasn't just wishful thinking to acknowledge that. Maybe... maybe someday Tony could love him back.

The mere thought of that was almost intoxicating. He immediately abandoned Nat's comic and got out a fresh sheet of paper, one he fully intended to keep to himself. Tony had already gone back to his own work, so there was little chance of him snooping. JARVIS would be able to read it, but Steve was pretty sure the AI would keep it to himself. The next time Dum-E wheeled over, he didn't take the ball to throw again, but patted the 'bot on the claw instead.

"Hey bud," he murmured, other hand still dancing over the paper as ideas flowed. "Do me a favor? Lemme know if your da heads this way, will ya?" Clearly understanding that this was a secret request, the 'bot's answer was a very muted whistle. With him on guard, Steve relaxed his own and let himself fall into the very important list he was making.

He was supposed to be the Man With a Plan; it was time to stop mooning and get to work. There wasn't any reason he couldn't try his hand at wooing Tony. It would take a while maybe, because he couldn't do this wrong. If he lost what they had now, if he drove Tony away and they went back to barely speaking... God, that would just kill him. He didn't mind going slow if it meant he got it _right_. Tony was worth the work it would take to do that.

He figured that maybe in five years he'd be on solid ground to start the ten year plan that would include marriage. The ten year plan was the one that involved sweet-talking Thor into stealing a few apples.

If Tony was ready to cuddle the fuck out of him, Steve was fully prepared to plan the shit out of their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so if the Russian I tried to use is totally wrong and someone more knowledgeable than me can help me fix it I would super appreciate it. <3 Especially on Nat's end - if Steve's answer is a little off I actually like it better that way. XD
> 
> This is so late getting up because I got huge news!! I for sure got a new full-time job, and it happens to be in an elementary school in the good ol' US of A - things here are Not Okay, but us common folk have to keep on trucking despite the shit show going on. The school year is about to start, and they hired us so late that we've been scrambling to get set up. For me that included buying new clothes, because I am no longer allowed to dress like a slob six days out of seven. Shopping is so fucking time consuming, omg.
> 
> Also, on Thursday I got up enough courage to ask someone out for the first time in my 31 years of existence, and they said no, so. Instead of finishing up the editing that night when I was free I had to eat some ice cream, cry, and hope that I didn't make the guy feel so awkward he stops volunteering at the place where we met. ;.;
> 
> But now is all good, and here is the story! :D Yay!
> 
> My internet situation is going to be a bit more iffy than I initially thought - I knew I was moving before, but my mum ran into some unexpected expenses because my brother is a moron, so. She can't change her cable plan for a couple more weeks, which means I only have internet at my apartment, where I will only be a few days a week. Depending on how it goes I might just aim for a different posting day.
> 
> Sorry for babbling. XD Thanks again for reading!


	5. Missing What I Never Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is soooo late, I apologize profusely. Next chapter is going up too though, and the next two will be up by the end of the week!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, comments make me all happy and giggly inside so maybe leave some if you like it? <3

Affection hadn't exactly been common in the Stark household when Tony was growing up. Most of it had happened in front of cameras or other people. He could count on one hand the number of times Howard had so much as touched his shoulder when there wasn't an audience to play to. Maria had been a little better when her peach schnapps consumption wasn't too high. If she was sober enough to talk without slurring, she usually remembered to give him hugs and speak a few fond words in Italian so Howard wouldn't scold her for being a soft touch. The weeks when Howard was off traveling were always the best - Maria would retreat and become just mom. They would spend time together, laughing and singing and cuddling. She would teach him a little about playing piano and praise him over the smallest things.

Without her husband there to remind her, Maria Stark forgot to be a cold, distant but polite socialite. It would be nice however long it lasted - usually a day or so before Howard's return she would start to retreat again. Now that he was older he fully understood just how fucking sad that was.

Looking back, Tony could admit that he had been lonely. Not to anyone else or even out loud, but at least to himself he acknowledged it. He hadn't had an abundance of friends, and most of his 'peers' had been at least seven or eight years older than him. It hadn't fostered a lot of healthy relationships, which was why Rhodey was something of a miracle. Jarvis had been more than a miracle - Jarvis had fucking _saved him_ and he would never not be grateful for that.

But the butler he loved more than his father had only been able to show his love in small ways. Most of them weren't physical and he knew he had been touch-starved by the time he got to Rhodey. His best friend had done a lot to fix that, but then he'd left to go shoot up the bad guys and protect world peace or whatever the hell. That was when he'd really fallen into debauchery, trying desperately to make up for the giant Rhodey-shaped hole in his life in the only way he knew how.

None of that had been about affection. It had been lust and the joy of feeling someone skin-to-skin. Later it had been a habit and now a set of memories that sometimes made him cringe.

Happy was fond of him in his own way, but most of that was shown indirectly. It wasn't hugs and friendly touches, wasn't a hand resting on his shoulder to help him find a way to face himself and the world. Pepper had been even stiffer a first. The cutting remarks she'd made the first few times he got touchy-feely had almost been enough to make him bleed. Now that she saw the lack of intent behind it she was better about pressing gentle touches to his forearm and letting him do the same. She sent warm smiles his way whenever he took something directly from her hands and no longer teased him about his shitty decisions. Well, not as much and not in the same way. Her judgments didn't make him feel like crying or dying anymore - he could take them in stride because it was so obvious that she loved him the same way Rhodey did.

Affection from his boys was more easily earned. Their love for him was as uncomplicated and easy as his love was for them. Even while he scolded and threatened, it was second nature for him to run fingers over their struts and claws, or for them to drape themselves carefully over his shoulders. J showed affection through dry wit, sarcasm and the way he was constantly just there. Sure Tony had initially programmed some of that, but he knew that now most of it was by choice. They were a little tightly knit family that Tony had never, ever thought would get any bigger.

Not when he was such a fuck-up and not when he had problems demonstrating his own fondness for people in a socially acceptable manner. He'd sort of figured that he was lucky as hell to have the few people that he did, and even if he didn't deserve them he loved him with all the strength his broken heart could muster. With them it had become easy, second nature - he knew when they were showing that they cared.

With the Avengers it was... harder. Sure they were a team and maybe something close to friends, but Tony was never really sure. Did the way Nat kept bullying him into training without the suit show concern or a disdain for how weak he was outside his metal shell? When Thor 'praised' his tech for being 'impressive' for a mortal, was that a fond tease or the insult it sometimes felt like? Clint was a little easier to read and he was pretty sure the archer at least found him amusing. His pranks were almost never aimed at Tony anymore and he was often included in the planning process, which had to mean something. Bruce was, of course, his science bro and their love was one that would span the ages, but sometimes... sometimes he worried that Bruce tolerated him more than cared about him. He tried not to let that thought creep in too often. It was a mixed success.

And Steve...God, Steve. The blond always seemed to be touching him now that they both knew it was allowed. Sometimes he wanted to just sink into his arms and bask in the warmth of the man forever. But was it really affection, or was Steve just as touch-starved as Tony sometimes got? He'd had almost a century of going without any contact at all - sure he'd been frozen, but it still counted. Probably. And he was weird about who was allowed to touch him in non-battle situations. Tony and the other Avengers were fine, but once he'd clocked a SHIELD agent for grabbing his arm without warning. So it was more than possible that he wasn't really... well. That he was just getting what he needed where he could. Maybe the fact that Steve was getting so much of that from Tony didn't mean anything at all.

Despite all of that, all of the doubts and insecurities that plagued him - the way they always had, because he was too damn sensitive - Tony was pretty sure the Avengers liked him. Maybe not as much as he cared about all of them, but still. They still _did_ care, probably. It meant so, so much to have a new set of people who smiled at him and delivered those little touches that were everything to him. It was amazing to have people who didn't flinch back from his own tactile nature, but allowed him into their space freely instead.

It was so close to feeling like real friendship, like family. He just wished Howard Stark wasn't still half-alive in his head, jeering and reminding him of how pathetic he was. It would be easier to believe it was all real if he didn't have a voice in his ear that pointed out all the ways it could be a lie.

Even if it was confusing sometimes, Tony wouldn't give up his new team for the world _or_ Howard. They were his now, and even if they couldn't give him what he'd longed for since he was a kid... well. What they'd already given him was more than enough, and more than he'd ever had before.


	6. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Chapter Specific Warning **
> 
> There's a brief period of time when Tony's personal space is being invaded by two people at a party that he is definitely not comfortable with. It doesn't become anything more/worse, but I wanted to let you all know just in case anyone finds such mentions triggering. It happens in the third section of this chapter if anyone needs to skip to the end of it or skim or whatever.
> 
> Many more thanks for continuing to read. :D

“Dad’s being mean to me.”

“Uh--”

“It wasn’t even that big a deal, honest. I mean, when he tells you the story it might sound kind of bad, but that’s why I raced here--”

“What?”

“To make sure you heard my side of the story. If you hear his first you’ll just side with him, but if you hear what _really_ happened then maybe you could get him to calm the fuck down.”

“Why were you in my vents? _How_ were you in my vents? JARVIS--”

“Okay, that is not even close to the most important… c’mon, dad’s gonna be down soon. I need you to focus, Iron Mom!”

Tony was almost 100% sure that he had never given birth to any flesh and blood children, and that sliver of ‘maybe, who the hell knows’ remaining was all the fault of magic and weird dimensional loop holes. He was 110% certain that in the universe they were currently in he had never gotten busy with Captain America and then brought a screaming, squirming Hawkeye into the world. That was just… it was a no-go, on all fronts. The only part of that he was only a little sad about was the whole not getting it on with Steve, which--

“Oh my-- hey Butler Man?”

JARVIS had never sighed until out loud until the other Avengers moved in. Before them it had always been unvoiced but heard loud and clear in his head. With Clint J sighed a lot.

“Yes, Master Clint?”

“Heh. Wait. No. How long has Iron Mom been in here?”

“When I allowed you entry--”

“Yeah, yeah. Life or death. It is. So--”

“You are aware, of course, that I have multiple cameras located in the training facility? There is also a crystal clear audio recording.”

“Eh-heh. Riiiiight. Creepy - I like it. And I’m not lying! So just tell me how long Iron Mom has been doing his… science… stuff.”

“J? Why was he in my vents?” The finger that smooshed against his lips made the last word come out all funny. He snickered only to have Clint herd him toward the couch and push him down onto it. It was… weird and kind of… great? Yeah. Weird and great to have someone worried about him. He should go ahead and tell the archer that he was mostly just still trying to switch gears, not enveloped in a ‘been awake and sciencing for way too long’ fog.

“You sit here, okay? He’s gonna… look. Just because a guy takes a few precautions--”

“Really, Master Clint. I would hardly call these precautions.”

“Precautions, pranks, whatever. The point is that Captain Wet Blanket is about to burst through those doors and I need you to protect me from his wrath. So. Bucket and Bolts! Where are y- oh, hey.” Clint fist bumping with his ‘bots would never not bring a smile to his face. The way Butterfingers immediately pulled back and dove into a more complicated handshake was just… perfection.

Dum-E, who was wary of Clint since what had been dubbed the Extinguishing Arrow Incident, pouted over in one corner. Eventually he would decide to join the fun, just probably not before Steve stormed in.

Which he was supposed to be doing. Any second.

“Woah!” Clint’s concern was overblown - he had hardly even stumbled after launching himself into the air. U had been ready with a handy strut so really everything was fine. Clint didn’t need to follow after him… but it was kind of sweet that he did it anyway. “Tony, I was only a little serious about that whole life or death thing. Why are you--”

“Shhhhh!” Tony closed all the pertinent programs with a few flicks of his fingers and hoped Clint hadn’t gotten too good of a look at them. “Just… just shhhh. J, can you--”

“Done, Sir. Captain Rogers’ elevator has been slowed enough to delay his arrival by twelve seconds, which puts him almost a full twenty away. Do try and breathe Sir.”

“Yes breathe. Please breathe. If Steve found me in here with you not breathing he’d fucking kill me.”

“He would not. He loves you.”

“He loves you more. A lot more.”

“Why would you-- shut up and help me!”

With Clint on one side of the large, heavy drop cloth and U ‘helping’ on his side, they managed to get Tony’s latest project covered in time. Everything on the table was largely still in pieces, so hopefully the spy who’d dropped in wouldn’t be able to get enough information to sing. Or maybe…

“J, on a scale from one to Reykjavik how bad was the bird’s offense?”

“... a two Sir.”

“A TWO? All that and it’s only a-- ahahaha. I mean. It should be a one?”

“Okay. Here’s how this is gonna go.”

Clint didn't rear back when Tony clapped his hands onto the archer's cheeks, which was... kind of nice. It was nicer still when Clint wrapped gentle, calloused fingers around his wrists and squeezed. A smile was tugging at his lips and there was none of the hardness that used to live in his eyes present. Clint was his friend, he realized suddenly. They weren't just teammates anymore.

He couldn't give that knowledge the time and weight it deserved though. He'd invent something nifty later to mark the occasion. First he had to make sure the canary wouldn't start squawking.

"You keep your mouth shut about anything you may or may not have seen. You tell no one. Not even Nat, Clint."

Tony expected a moment of silence and consideration. Nat and Clint were the Murder Twins; they were a set. They might fight or stab each other with sharp things sometimes, but they were still so intertwined it was hard to know where one ended and the other one started. He knew for a fact that they kept track of each other's heart rates and shit like that. So to ask Clint to keep something from her was... big. The plan that had come together in his mind in a few heartbeats had accounted for that, had contingencies that would carry them right up to Steve's arrival when he would capitulate anyway.

"You got it, Iron Mom. So will you protect me from wrath coming for me on the red white and blue wings of an eagle? Please? Hawks don't do so well against eagles."

Tony's hands went lax, only staying on Clint's face because the archer didn't let him go. His thoughts ground to a halt, tongue too heavy with shock for him to voice the 'what the fuck' that was flashing over and over in his brain. Processing it at all felt impossible. Getting it to make sense before Steve got there was just not going to happen. He probably would have tried anyway if Clint hadn't been there.

Instead he got a gentle 'boop' to the nose that gave him the reboot he so desperately needed.

A few months ago only Rhodey or Pep would have known how to do that.

His hands jumped from where they'd landed on Clint's shoulders to draw up a slew of schematics and models that he was working on with his minions at SI. Having all that bright blue light floating around them would hopefully keep Steve from becoming suspicious. Tony never had an empty plate, so if there weren't any plans up at all he would smell something rotten in the state of Denmark.

Maybe his surprise wasn’t… well. He didn’t want to know what Steve thought about it until it was finished. His secret needed to be protected!

So when Steve burst into the workshop, red-faced and with what looked like neon purple slime splashed over most of his clothes, Tony didn’t miss a beat. He didn’t waste time with questions or wondering - though he had a lot of the first for Clint later - and manfully kept in his laughter. In fact he didn’t even let Steve yell the way he clearly wanted to before butting right in.

“I hear you’re being mean to our son.” The blond stopped dead in his tracks, the fury melting from his expression. He looked absolutely dumbfounded and turned impossibly redder. Tony was tempted to try and throw a few blueberries into his slack mouth. “I would like an explanation from you, Steven Grant Rogers.”

“I… Tony did you see what… what… son? I’m not su- is this some kinda prank?”

“That hurts pops, it really does,” Clint drawled while settling his chin on Tony’s shoulder. “He’s hurting my feelings, Iron Mom.” Tony didn’t roll his eyes through sheer force of will, fingers briefly stopping their dance over a set of schematics so he could pat the man on the head.

“There there. C’mon Steve - he was just having a little fun.”

“Iron Mom? Pops?” Steve looked between the two of them, then around the room like he would find answers there. “Is there some kinda mind control villain hiding in here or somethin’? I don’t--” Dum-E finally left his sulk to zoom over to Steve’s side, bumping into him gently before tucking his claw against the blond’s neck. “Hey there buddy. What’s wrong? Your… ma hurtin’ _your_ feelings?”

The look Steve slanted over at him was full of mischief, and sometimes he wanted to kiss the man so badly that he ached with it. Clint smothered a snort in his shoulder and grunted when Tony planted a firm elbow in his stomach. That fucking nickname was going to stick now, and he was going to be ‘ma’ whenever Steve wanted to irritate him.

He should probably be more angry about that.

“I’m not hurting his anything. He and Clint just haven’t made up yet. Now get away from Steve before I have to hose you down, Dum-E. That stuff is… violently purple and I find it offensive.”

“There wouldn’t be any purple gunk at all if your son--”

“Oh, so when he does something wrong he’s _my_ son?”

“That’s not what I mean and ya know it. Wait. That’s not the point here.”

“No, the point is that you’re covering my ‘bot in that gross stuff. Why you stormed down here instead of just taking a shower--”

“‘Cause Clint planted those damn gunk bombs all over the trainin’ room! JARVIS said he was headed this way and I came ta give him a piece of my mind. Then I ran into all this other shit--”

“Steven! In front of the children!”

That was when Clint lost in completely, laughter exploding out of him right in Tony’s ear. He shoved the man away, and he would have hit the floor if Butterfingers hadn’t swooped in and let the archer’s frame drape all over his. The beeps and whistles his youngest let out were full of robot swears, Tony knew it. He immediately pretended to be scandalized, one hand clutching his chest as his eyes went wide.

“Butterfingers! Watch your mouth! You see? That’s your influence, Steven. He learned all his bad habits from you.” Clint, practically howling with laughter now, just held on to Butterfingers’ struts as the ‘bot hauled him across the room to the couch. “Any other choice phrases you’d like to teach the boys?”

“Tony, anything I could come up with ain’t half as bad as the things that drop out of your mouth on the regular.”

“Lies!”

Steve smiled at him, all good humor and warmth. “Sure. If you say so. And if I wanna share the gunk our son got all over me with our other kids… well. How’re you gonna stop me?” Eyes still locked with his, Steve scooped up a handful of the slime on his shirt and smeared it over one of Dum-E struts.

Tony might have been pissed, except that Steve had just said ‘our son’ and ‘our other kids’ and his brain was maybe short-circuiting a lot.

That didn’t mean he didn’t notice Clint give Butterfingers a few final pats before clearing out of the workshop. Tony wasn’t sure why the archer had come to him instead of heading to Nat for protection but it had worked. He couldn’t argue with results.

“You’re cleaning him up,” he finally told Steve. “I’m not dealing with that. He’s going to want to hold a fire extinguisher the whole time and if it goes off you’re cleaning that up too. Oh, and you’re dripping that gunk on my floor, so--”

“I’ll clean up the mess, Tony.” To add to that easy agreement Steve headed for the workshop’s shower, Dum-E gazing after him with anxious whistles. “It’s okay buddy. Go get your extinguisher. I’ll get ya cleaned up quick and then you can go find my pencils.”

The ‘bot gave a single beep before heading off to do just that. Tony didn’t watch him though - his eyes were caught on Steve, who was in the process of pulling off his shirt. The sight should be illegal with all those rippling muscles and the almost invisible dusting of freckles Tony probably shouldn’t know covered his shoulders. Just before he vanished into the tiny room where he’d be able to get clean Steve reached for the waistband of his basketball shorts. Quickly he turned back to his work and tried to ignore the way his cheeks were feeling a little bit warmer.

Tony Stark did not blush just because there was a naked guy a few feet away. Close enough to still hear talking to Dum-E even over the water and his ‘bot’s complaints. Steve was naked and close enough that Tony could see, if he wanted. Could touch if Steve would let him.

He wasn’t going to press his fucking luck though. Not when he had Steve as a friend, not now that the Avengers were getting close to feeling like a family. He already had more than he’d ever thought he would ever have. It was enough that Steve felt comfortable enough with him to be singing some stupid love song from the forties wildly off-key just a few short steps away.

Now if he could just forget the way Steve had said ‘our kids’ as easily as he breathed everything could get back to normal.

~.~.~

Before the Avengers, dinner had always been pretty damn predictable. Fancy restaurants when he needed to dazzle, cold leftovers when he didn’t, shakes and protein bars in the workshop, takeout whenever Rhodey or Pep were there to eat with him. There was never any big debate - Pep and Rhodey had established their favorites long ago, and there was only half-hearted banter between them before they settled on something if they were both there the same night. J had long since memorized orders and phone numbers, and if he were being honest with himself Tony could admit that those lists hadn’t changed much since he turned thirty.

His new team made things incredibly unpredictable all the time. Dinner was no exception and he got that. Tony knew that always having someone they could eat with was a novel experience for all of them. He knew why they had dinner together every night barring extreme emotional distress, city threatening battles, or looming deadlines Pep would brutally enforce… though that last one only applied to him. They liked the routine, liked having everyone in the same room participating in the ritual. Hell, they even seemed to like the arguments they had over what they should actually eat. He totally understood and appreciated all of it.

What Tony didn’t understand was why lately he was always in the middle of those mostly playful fights.

“We’ve already had pizza three nights this week. I’m getting sick of all the grease and cheese. I bet Tony is too, aren’t you Tony?”

“Listen my friends! We must not forget the merits of the most soulful of cooking. They are running a special on jumbalaya--”

“We all know you like spicy food Thor. We also know that it gives Tony heartburn.”

“How the fuck do you all know that?”

The arguing Avengers ignored the complaint, three of them glaring at each other while Bruce held his ground with a little less intensity. Nat and Clint had been playing tug-of-war with his arms while making their points until Steve had intervened and gently pulled him out of the fray. Now his arm was slung over Tony’s shoulders while he watched the others, curiously without an opinion.

Steve never seemed to really care what they ate. It was probably because of the whole ‘spent most of my childhood going hungry’ thing.

“I want pizza. The place in Brighton Beach does a wonderful _mockba_ topping and--” Clint gagged loudly, interrupting Murder Twin One. She promptly struck out at his bicep, a blow he evaded by stepping behind Thor.

“No. That shit smells disgusting and I don’t care that you only get it on one pizza. It stinks up the whole tower.”

“So does _ca kho to_ but I don’t complain about it."

“Uh, yes you do. And come on! Vietnamese sounds so good right now. I can’t believe you’re fucking campaigning for pizza - you barely like pizza! You never want it when I want it--”

“I have a craving.”

“Both choices have their merits! And on any other night I would delight in either food, for Midgardian pizza is a marvel I wish could be recreated in Asgard, and we all know I relish Asian delicacies. But there is a chill in the air, is there not Tony? None can argue that--”

“Why can’t we have something simple?” Bruce’s quiet voice cut through the squabbling even if none of them worried he would go green at the smallest insult anymore. “I spent all day in my lab and my head hurts. “That diner a few blocks away has plenty of choices, and I really want one of their Reuben sandwiches and some french fries.” He turned his gaze to Tony, smile tired as he pulled off his glasses. “It’ll also get here the quickest,” he said while rubbing his eyes. “I just want to eat and then lay down.”

“That is cheating!” Clint cried, flinging an accusing finger at Bruce. “You know you’re his favorite and you are playing dirty.” Tony wasn’t really sure what he was talking about - though Bruce was his favorite Avenger if he didn’t count Steve - and he didn’t care either. He wanted to get Brucie his Reuben and tuck him into bed.

“The diner sounds good to me.” Clint threw up his hands while Nat muttered something in Russian. Thor looked resigned but still happy enough, one hand reaching out to clap Bruce on the shoulder.

“That was a battle well fought. I approve of your tactics!”

“You’re all so fucking weird. I don’t know why I let you live here. Brucie-bear, you can stay and I guess Steve can too, but the rest of you are on thin ice.”

“I want Vietnamese,” Clint muttered, still scowling at Bruce. “And that was cheating.”

“That’s enough,” Steve finally interrupted, voice firm. “JARVIS, could you bring up the menu for the diner? I think that’s the way most of us are leaning.”

“It’s the way _Tony_ was leaning.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Clint dodge a kick from Natasha, who hissed something at him in Russian. Bewildered by the byplay he looked to Steve… who was slowly but steadily turning pink.

“Will all-a you shut it and figure out what you’re ordering?”

It was Steve who said it, so of course they all did it. Mostly anyway - they were figuring out their orders but Clint in particular was still muttering rebelliously to himself. Hopefully the archer would get to pick dinner the next day; Tony silently promised to cast his vote Clint’s way to better the chance of that happening. Maybe he could talk Bruce and Steve into doing the same.

“So do you know what you’re gonna order yet?” Steve’s voice was close enough to his ear to make him shiver.

“Nope.” Despite knowing it was a bad idea, Tony let himself lean harder against his friend. “I was kind of thinking Italian though, so maybe I’ll get some pasta.”

“We can get Italian,” Steve answered almost immediately. “We haven’t placed the order yet, so--”

“Easy there big guy. We just settled the debate - no need to get it going again. Besides, Bruce deserves all the nice things including Reuben sandwiches and sleep.”

“You’re a good friend.” Steve’s breath was still fluttering over his ear, and fuck - did the blond not realize how close he was? He couldn’t know what that was doing to Tony or he’d yank back in disgust, so he needed to get his damned libido under control.

It was harder to do than it should have been, mostly because Steve chose that moment to let his arm drop from his shoulders to wrap around his waist instead. That was a pretty common gesture between them now that they were people that hugged. Tony just wondered why Steve didn’t realize how couple-y it made them look. There had been entire tabloid issues devoted to their non-existent romance partially because of that snug hold.

He mostly chalked it up to Steve not realizing that these days people wouldn’t just assume they were friends. It had been different back in the day, when as long as you weren’t kissing guys in front of anyone people were happy to assume men were only interested in women. Steve was just… just still not completely adjusted to modern culture.

There was no way in hell he was going to explain it either, not when it meant all the touching might stop. He was a glutton for punishment, after all.

“I vote we watch Parks and Rec with dinner.”

“Not again. No way. Come on - I wanna watch a movie.” Just like that, Nat and Clint were glaring at each other again, because nothing about dinner time could come easily. He guessed that made it even more telling that they all chose to do it anyway.

“We never finished that last season of Doctor Who,” Tony ventured, pretty sure he’d get shot down.

“Doctor Who is a great idea.” Everyone else groaned when Steve agreed which - rude. Doctor Who was a great show and anyway that was only two votes. Thor and Bruce hadn’t said anything yet, so it wasn’t like they were for sure going to watch it.

Though that was what ended up on the screen. Steve had campaigned even harder for that choice than Tony had and seemed smugly pleased with his victory from the love seat they were sharing.

He still didn’t know why everyone tried to drag him into the middle of their dinner fights. Sometimes he missed how simple everything had been before the Avengers had moved into his tower. But Bruce and Thor were engaged in a pretty passionate debate about the merits of various companions, Clint was keeping up a hilarious if slightly negative running commentary of the episodes, and Nat looked deeply engrossed and entirely comfortable from where she was sitting with her bare feet shoved under Thor’s thigh.

It felt like family, the same way Rhodey, Pep and his boys made him feel. Best of all he was snuggled up to Steve while it was happening. The first time he yawned, the blond softie took his plate and set it aside before grabbing the afghan off the back of the couch and to wrap around them both. He was warm and comfortable with his head tucked under Steve’s chin and his friend’s voices soothing him to sleep in the background.

Steve was a good guy - he’d make someone a great boyfriend. Once the thought didn’t make him want to break things, he decided as he drifted off, he was going to find someone worthy of dating Steve. It was just a shame that couldn’t ever be him.

~.~.~

Tony had never really enjoyed the glitzy parties he had been attending since he was a kid. There had been the years of boredom and wishing he could kick certain adults in the shin followed by two years of faux rebellion - sulking in one corner while being vaguely rude to anyone who talked to him had nothing on what came next. The drinking, sex and drugs that had hallmarked his true rebellious streak had made the parties only a little more bearable.

As Iron Man, co-leader of the Avengers, he was not allowed to indulge in any of those things.

Well, he could sip a few drinks. Steve was great about keeping a scotch in his hand, though the mother hen also forced him to drink water and eat any available finger foods. He didn’t have the heart to point out that he and his liver had been doing this dance since he was fifteen. When it came to drinking he could take care of his own damn self, but… managing that gave Steve something to focus on.

He hated the parties even more than Tony did. They turned him back into the stiff, awkward man who had first come out of the ice. People were always crowding too close or asking questions that were way too personal. Tony always tried to make sure there were a few World War Two vets floating around in the crowd. Steve would latch on to them in between fetching Tony his drinks and food, and it would keep some of the more offensive party goers off his back.

On nights when Fury weeded out the guest list to get maximum manipulation for his buck, Steve stuck pretty damn close to either him or Bruce. Nobody fucking messed with Bruce Banner at the little soirees, not even when Captain America was clearly using him as a shield. Tony was so good at distracting anyone who came over that they usually walked away smiling and without saying much to Steve at all.

Sometimes that technique just worked a little too well, which had caused his current predicament.

“You were so amazing during that last fight,” the redhead who had plastered herself to his side breathed.

“So you said.” It was hard to put amusement in his voice and even harder not to shove her away in a show of disgust. She smelled like alcohol and cigarettes with a hint of cloying floral perfume to complete the mix. At his other side was her male companion, the one who had stared hungrily at Steve but shifted his attention easily enough once she had.

They were on the prowl, the two of them. If Steve hadn’t looked so fucking panicked Tony would have let him have a kinky good time. Threesomes could be a lot of fun if you were in the right mood. He wasn’t, but they didn’t need to know that until Steve had gone to hide with Bruce.

If the fucker would just go, he could dismiss them. Instead he was hovering with a face like a thundercloud, and Tony wasn’t sure why. It was messing with their system and now they were both trapped.

“That Dr. Doom is just so…” she shivered theatrically, using the opportunity to press her chest against his arm. He suppressed the urge to shove her away and forced himself to chuckle instead. “He’s so creepy. If it wasn’t for you and that brilliant plan…”

The plan had been Steve’s with just a few flourishes from him. If he told them that though it would turn their attention back to the blond. It was exactly what he was trying to avoid, so he shrugged and tried to keep his discomfort hidden.

“It was a team effort, really.”

“You shouldn’t be so modest, Tony.” The guy - Nathan? Probably-Nathan took his chance to press a little closer, fingers running up Tony’s bicep. “You’re quite the… asset to the team.” He squeezed down on Tony’s arm suggestively while peering over his shoulder. He was lucky he hadn’t gotten goosed, and fuck why wasn’t Steve walking away? Every other time this had happened Steve had turned tail - or rather, made a tactical retreat. Tony could then shake the admirers loose instead of having people in his personal bubble with fingers stroking him. Thank fucking God those fingers were staying in mostly appropriate places.

If either of them touched his ass, he was calling in a gauntlet to get them away. Then he was going to kick _Steve’s_ ass later in the training room.

Probably-Nathan’s hand slid around to rest between his shoulder blades while he shot Maybe-Debbie a heated look. “We’re both impressed by all of your aerial maneuvers. Must take a lot of flexibility. I’d love the chance to get a close up look at that.” Sure enough his hand had started to slip down, and so help him--

“Excuse me.”

Steve never used his strength against civilians, always erred on the side of being too gentle. Tony gave him a lot of shit about that even if he actually thought it was pretty sweet. So he could be excused for the way his mouth dropped open in shock when Steve grabbed the back of Probably-Nathan’s neck and levered him away from Tony.

Actually he thought the look on his face probably matched Probably-Nathan’s almost exactly, because the touchy-feely man looked more turned on than nervous.

Steve kept pulling until Probably-Nathan was about a foot away from Tony and then insinuated himself into the space between them. He locked his arm around Tony’s waist in a firm, almost proprietary manner that had his heart picking up speed. Steve was glaring at Maybe-Debbie while pulling him out of her clutches, and when her claws had finally let go of his suit jacket he couldn’t help but melt gratefully into Steve’s hold. Being touched by a friend was different than having two horny twenty-somethings panting after him.

Steve acknowledged him with a gentle squeeze, but his expression was still stone and his eyes still shooting death-beams Maybe-Debbie’s way.

“It was nice to meet both of you, but we need to be going. Away.” Tony had to turn his head to hide a laugh in Steve’s shoulder. The soldier was awful at this being tactful socially shit - he wasn’t even trying to be subtle or offer a good excuse. “Have a lovely rest of the evening.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and deftly evaded Probably-Nathan’s arm when it shot out to try and stop them. His arm stayed around Tony while he led them away to the bar, hand wrapped around Tony’s hip in a tighter hold than usual. They’d walked like that often, but he had never felt any real intent behind the gesture. Now it felt like Steve was claiming him in front of everyone, and wow did he need to calm the fuck down.

Steve just had a thing about touching. He had noticed how uncomfortable Tony was and now wanted to protect him. It wasn’t a couple thing - it was a friend thing.

That didn’t stop him from leaning even more heavily against the blond with a soft sigh.

“Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me Tony. They shouldn’t have…” Steve’s lips went thin with disapproval, prompting another smile from him. “I didn’t like the way they were touching you,” he finally said. There was a touch of something dark in his voice that sent a tingle of delight up Tony’s spine.

It was new, being important enough to someone that they would defend him like that, at least against something like this. Rhodey would - and had at parties when they were both younger - but he wasn’t at the fancy shindigs. Pepper was more likely to roll her eyes in exasperation at his antics, because despite how amazing she otherwise was she hadn’t quite clued in to how uncomfortable it made him. It was probably the only way she had bought into all the hype about him.

Not that he blamed her. She had kicked out way more than her fair share of his one night stands.

“It was fine,” he said instead of preening the way he wanted to. Steve let out a sound that was close to a growl, glaring back over his shoulder at where Tony assumed Probably-Nathan and Maybe-Debbie were still standing.

“It wasn’t fine. You were uncomfortable - it was easy to see that you didn’t want them in your space like that. They shouldn’t have just assumed… I don’t care how many stories there are about your… uh... “ For just a second Steve seemed unsure, the hard edge of his voice softening to something more tentative. “Past? Anyway, it don’t give them the right to go touching you like that without asking. It’s just plain rude.”

“Aww, cookie crumble.” Steve turned bright red the way Tony had hoped he would, still not used to the affectionate nicknames he lavished on his friends. “I didn’t know you cared.” It was a lie, because of course Steve cared.

Sometimes he didn’t know what to do with how much Steve cared.

“Yeah, well. Anybody touches you like that again and I’m gonna have ta leave to get my shield. So you maybe wanna…” More blushing, and Tony hid another smile in Steve’s shoulder. If he took a good whiff of the way the guy smelled at the same time that was his own damn business. It wasn’t his fault the cologne the man wore mingled perfectly with his preferred detergent and the layer of just plain Steve that underlied it. Sometimes he wanted to just roll around in that scent like a cat enjoying catnip.

“‘Maybe wanna’ what?”

“Stick close?” His head whipped up so he could stare at Steve. At the same time he tangled his fingers in Steve’s jacket, because that almost sounded like… like… “It’s for the good of the people Tony. Maybe even the world.” He gave Tony a light squeeze and maybe he was going for playful but the look in his eyes was terrifyingly earnest. “Besides that, it won’t look good for Captain America to go beating up civilians.”

“I can handle myself you know,” he felt compelled to point out. Didn’t matter that he could feel his heart swelling, or that he was already tucking himself even tighter under Steve’s protective arm. “I’m a big boy.”

“Yeah. I know. Stick close anyway? One scotch and one water,” he added to the bartender that had finally been able to turn their way. It was good that he wasn’t looking down anymore, that his attention had shifted. Tony’s mouth was hanging open again, and he could feel how wide his eyes were. This was a whole new level of protectiveness, and once again there was a vague hope taking form inside of him.

He leaned up to press a kiss to Steve’s cheek, hating and loving that he had to lift up a little on his toes to do it. Anyone who saw the gesture was going to have a field day; it was worth it to see the brilliant smile that broke out on the blond’s face.

“I still have some people to shmooze. Fury gave me a list.” He laughed at the look on Steve’s face and took the glass that was pressed into his hand. Water first of course, and he took a generous sip before he even looked at the scotch that would hopefully get him through a few more annoying conversations. “So if we’re gonna be glued together you’re going to have to put your game face on and give ‘em the old razzle dazzle with me.”

“If it means nobody else boxes you in the way they did I’m in. We need to get you some more of those little sandwiches first though. You didn’t get to finish your last plate before Senator What’s-his-name got to you.”

He laughed at that, because he knew that Steve knew the Senator’s name. The man was a fan, always stumbling over his words and doing his best to get on Captain America’s good side. He had boasted numerous times that they were on speaking terms - practically a first name basis - and Steve had been asking for his name every time they met since. The venerable Senator denied climate change and took a dim view on vaccinations. Between that and the vaguely misogynistic attitude, Steve practically foamed at the mouth when he talked about the politician in private.

Tony loved the twinkle of mischief in those blue eyes while he was fucking with people and they were too caught up in the legends about him to notice.

He took another gulp of water to earn an approving grin, then downed the rest of the glass for good measure. “I’m not getting my other drink until I put some food in my stomach, am I?”

“Nope.”

“Worry wart.” Steve just shrugged at the teasing accusation, giving him another squeeze. He was tempted to deliver another kiss - a friend kiss! - but settled for patting the blond’s chest instead. “Okay. Let’s feed me so I can drink and woo the mayor, who is not so happy with the way those buildings got damaged while we were fighting the Wrecking Crew.” They both winced at the memory and the scathing interview that had been circulating on the news since the battle.

“Sounds like a plan.” Steve let him go, but he only had a second to mourn the loss before a large hand settled on his lower back. Again with the couple-y stuff, and again with the impression that maybe - just maybe - he was the one being wooed.

Howard’s harsh, ugly laughter in his ear reminded him how impossible that was. He was too old, too broken. Steve wouldn’t want someone like him, deserved someone way better. It was just his imagination and just more proof of how pathetic he was. Captain America overlooking his weaknesses and how soft he really was inside to be his friend was more than he could have hoped for. Reaching for the stars to try for more would only get him burned.

“Then into the fray we go. Make sure my scotch doesn’t spill - I’m going to need it in a couple of minutes.”

“Sure thing Tony. Whatever you want.”

Fuck, he wished that were true.

~.~.~

Magneto was a son of a bitch and as soon as Tony was released from medical he was going to design a suit that could actually handle the bastard.

If he ever _was_ released from medical. His team seemed pretty determined to keep him there for the doctor recommended length of time, which was lame. Fractured ribs, head wounds and minor to major blood loss were nothing new in his life as Iron Man even if he didn’t deign to share every incident of them happening with everyone. Steve and Clint in particular had seemed horrified by the doctor’s report though, so he had a feeling he was in for serious check-ups after every battle for a while. Nat had been blank-faced with concern while Thor merely grumbled something about vulnerable mortals and apples - he’d been too loopy with pain meds to really process words.

Brucie still turned a little green every time he entered the room, so Tony knew he was in for a lecture from his science bro later. Mostly because he could actually understand the x-rays that had gotten thrown up. He would know exactly how not fine Tony sometimes was after battles.

He’d been in medical for almost four days, during which he had suffered through a teary visit from Pepper and a pretty intense facetime session with Rhodey. His best friend was stuck in the desert for another week before he could get any leave time, but he’d be showing up as soon as he could.

Everyone was being pretty fucking dramatic. He was enjoying it more than he should.

Nat kept bringing him homemade Russian deliciousness that the hospital staff was too terrified to forbid. Clint in his turn would show up with fun, stupid little distractions to keep Tony from fuming about how he wasn’t allowed to work on any schematics until his concussion was a little more under control. Thor regaled him with epic tales from Asgard and the other realms while Bruce made sure he got the occasional caffeinated beverage and a lot of decaf tea between them.

Steve hadn’t left his side for longer than an hour since he’d been brought in. Tony strongly suspected he was using his old SHIELD quarters to shower and take the brief Nat-mandated breaks from his vigil. He had woken up in the night to see the blond sleeping in the uncomfortable hospital chair and more than once opened his eyes to find the man clutching his hand with a pensive look on his face. It was sweet, but also guilt-inducing to the extreme.

Also scary and confusing because he didn't know what it meant. It felt like more than a friend thing, more than even just an Avengers family thing. But was it?

Part of him wanted to ask, to see if this constant feeling of possibility was just him. The sensible part, the part that had been drilled extensively over the years in his faults and fuck-ups, knew better. He'd rather wonder than lose what they had to awkwardness and hurt feelings.

“Stop thinkin’ so much. I can hear those gears turning from here.”

“Thinking is all I have left to me in the whole of this cruel world. You and everyone else have turned against me and taken away every interesting activity. Except Clint, but I'm only allowed to look at screens for… they upped it to what, half an hour at a time? I’m in the rest period from the DS And he took all the other fun stuff so it didn't get confiscated. I am suffering here, Steve, and none of you will let me go home.”

“Because you'll go right down to your workshop and stay there too long. It's one more day, maybe two. You can make it.”

“I’m not sure I can go on at this rate. There’s a white light and soon I’ll be bored enough to head into it. I've survived an attempted crushing only to--”

He looked over, expecting to see a smile or at least a look of exasperation on Steve's face. Instead he was even paler than usual, lips tight and fists clenched in his lap.

“Steve?”

“I can't… I don't wanna joke about this Tony. When I saw…” He stopped and took a deep breath before pressing his lips together again. “I thought you were dead. You weren't answerin’ and JARVIS-- I haven't ever heard him sound like that. I never wanna hear it again either. So just… maybe just can it with the smartass remarks about dying. ‘Least until I can get the picture of you crumpled beneath a goddamn streetcar with a telephone pole crushing your torso outta my head.”

He reached out for Steve who sounded furious and lost, voice shaking with emotion. Just before their hands touched he hesitated. He didn't know if the gesture would be welcome or if he would be shoved away. Hell, he didn't even know if Steve was still with him - he was staring straight ahead, something haunted in the lines around his eyes.

But maybe he was just a little more present than Tony had given him credit for. One fist loosened, then turned so his open palm was facing upward. It was easy in that moment to slip his hand there. Steve immediately settled his fingers between Tony's and squeezed.

For a long moment there was only silence between them. Tony had known Steve was upset, but he hadn't realized… fuck. He'd lost so much - everything, actually - so it was no wonder he was shaken. He just wish he'd realized it before he'd gone and put his foot in his mouth. Steve deserved good things. All the good things, which included friends who knew when to stop joking and just be normal. Jesus fuck, he was the worst.

“Me and J are going to figure something out, promise. If Magneto is going to be our problem more often I'll find a way to--”

“I know you will. You're Tony fuckin’ Stark. Nothing gets you down for long." Steve sent a crooked smile his way, one that made his heart ache. "I'm just being... I dunno." Tony's breath caught in his throat when the man's free hand lifted to brush knuckles over his cheek before cupping his jaw. "I can't lose you," he whispered, voice raw. "When I saw you fall..." he sucked in another deep breath before continuing. "I can't. Not you."

Tony couldn't respond, partly because he didn't know how. The other reason was the lump of emotion that had lodged in his throat while his heart beat wildly in his chest. Steve searched his eyes for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever before offering another little smile.

"I'm gonna sneak you in some coffee. It's the least I can do since you're so damn forlorn about not getting to go home right away." Suddenly Steve was leaning in, and then there was a pair of dry, chapped lips pressed against his temple. They stayed there several beats too long for it to be just a friend-thing, especially when Steve breathed in his can’t-shower-yet stink like it was the best perfume he'd ever smelled. "I'll be right back," he murmured against Tony's skin, and holy shit.

Steve was in love with him, he realized with sudden, startling clarity as the blond walked away. That was why the Man With a Plan was so fine with them being called 'mom' and 'dad'. He called the ‘bots his kids not because he was messing with Tony but because that was what he wanted them to be. Fuck, he was a moron. The signs were all over the place, and all the couple-y things had not actually been friend-things. Steve had been trying to woo him, so slowly and carefully that Tony hadn't noticed.

The part of him that knew Howard had been right about him wanted to flee. He wasn't good enough for Captain America and he sure as hell wasn't good enough for plain, wonderful Steve Rogers either. Tony knew that he should probably pack his bags and get the heck out of dodge for at least a few weeks. At the very least he should go back to being standoffish so that Steve wouldn't be fooled into making the gigantic mistake that was dating Tony Stark.

But set against that was Rhodey's voice in his ear, whispering encouragement. His honey-bear was the best man he knew and still managed to love him, so maybe Howard had been wrong. Pepper-pot was an excellent judge of character and she hadn't given up on him yet. That meant there was hope, that he wasn't all weakness and bad decisions. He had a team that he had been able to make his family; he was even almost 100% sure they would have his back no matter what.

Maybe Steve wasn't out of his reach; maybe he never had been. It was time to let Howard Stark's words go. He needed to stop listening to his father's ghost and needed to start believing that he was more. That he deserved more.

And if he was right, if Steve really loved him, then it was time to go balls to the wall. Subtlety had never been his strongest suit and he would fuck it up if he tried for it now. He was going to wait a little while, maybe test the waters just a little, and then he was going to go for it. Well, after he was mostly healed anyway. He was hoping there would be a lot of kissing and maybe a little manhandling once he and Steve got on the same page. Neither of those things were as fun as they should be when fractured ribs were part of the picture. Besides, he needed a couple more days of workshop time to finish Steve’s surprise. He could use the Great Gifting as a time to get his feelings out into the open.

Jesus fuck. He might get the chance to kiss Steve. Even better was the hope that he might get to cherish Steve, shower him with as much love as he’d always wanted to. Maybe he'd get to link their fingers together when they walked side-by-side, and maybe he would get to pet Steve's hair until he fell asleep with his head in Tony's lap. They could argue over all the stupid things they already did, but there would be gentle touches and loving looks thrown in too. They could do soft shit like watch movies together in pajamas and bare feet, hair mussed from sleep while they got tangled up in each other.

For the first time, none of it seemed out of his reach. Steve loved him and he loved Steve - maybe 'deserving' wasn't part of it at all. Maybe it was just about letting himself reach for something that would make him happy. So he was going to try, and Howard Stark could go fuck himself. Captain America more than liked him, and that knowledge curled up inside his chest, warm and soft and bright. It left no room for Howard's bile, and for the first time since he was twelve the burn of whiskey and self-loathing was nowhere to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the third time I've rewritten these two chapters. I decided I wasn't happy with them once and - in a fit of ill-tempered and impetuous writer's pique - I deleted them in such a way that I couldn't recover them. I tried again but it was garbage because I was still mad about losing the first attempts which I had decided were not that bad.
> 
> :'D
> 
> So I finally got rid of all that crap and started fresh again and am mostly happy with it now. Yaaaay. Now I'm gonna go do the same with the next two chapters and get them up before Friday - scout's honor!!


	7. Losing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very late, and the only excuse I have is that I'm not used to working full time and having so many other things I have to do in addition to that. It's been a struggle to adjust and it's drained a lot of my will to write. Working to find a better balance, so... fingers crossed!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! :D

Steve had been losing things since before he was born. His ma had never talked much about the four small wooden rosaries she kept on her bedside, but he knew it was a match for the one he'd kept tucked in his pocket until he'd gone marching off to war. Each was for a little brother or sister lost before they could be born. A more elaborately carved rosary had gone into a grave with his father and he'd put a matching one into his ma's coffin himself the day she was buried. Two more losses to be marked, one cutting a little deeper but both changing his life for the worse.

With his mother had gone the apartment, of course. The landlord had wanted them out for a while, but kicking the beloved Sarah Rogers out onto the street would have garnered him too much ill-will in their tightly knit community. Her son, a skinny scrap of nothing who was sweet but useless was another matter entirely. He'd been without a home practically before the body went cold. It had been hard, losing the place they'd lived in together so soon after losing her... but he managed okay. He always did.

He'd lost Bucky twice, one time more permanent than the other. He tried not to think about that though or else he ended up crying into his pillow until he was raw and exhausted.

During the war he had lost men - not any of the Howlies, but they didn't always work alone. Soldiers had been lost on his watch and he had taken each death harder than he probably should have. Then he'd won the battle against Hydra only to lose everything else. Sometimes he still heard Peggy's voice his ear, choked with emotion, as they pretended he would show up for their dance. Of all the things he had missed, of all the chances he'd lost because he'd gone into the ice, that one would always cut the deepest. He'd lost a life with her, one where they could have been happy together, had children and a house - all the things that little Stevie Rogers had always known he would never get. Losing Peggy had cost him all of that, and sometimes he thought that maybe he mourned that lost life more than he did her.

That wasn't to say he hadn't grown to love the life he had built in the future. The Avengers had become family to him once he allowed himself to let them in. He worried about losing them as much as he'd worried about losing Bucky and with the lives they led he knew that was dangerous. Any mission could go wrong, any strangely costumed super villain with an ax to grind and a whole lot of crazy on top of that could be the thing that stole one of them away.

Even saying goodbye to Thor when he left to for Asgard or to see Jane was hard. There was the chance he wouldn't come back, after all, especially when he went back home. With Loki doing better Thor spent much more time in Asgard. Maybe one day he would decide to forsake Midgard completely.

Clint sometimes wandered off for a few days at a time too, and he hated it. When Nat vanished for more than a few hours without telling him anxiety crawled over his skin and settled in his stomach. Bruce was usually around, thank Christ, or he would really panic - the mild mannered scientist was incredibly good at disappearing. He knew it was stupid of him, but he couldn't help it. He didn't like losing any of them to anything, even when it was temporary.

Dr. Greene had told him he should say something. She had smiled when he gave his emphatic no and hadn't brought it up again. The doc was infuriatingly good at waiting him out. His actual shrink, the one still paid for by Fury and SHIELD, had called Steve 'well adjusted' on his last report, which was interesting since they still didn't even talk to each other during their sessions.

He lost Tony more than he lost anyone, and it hurt like hell every time. The man was in high demand though, and he had a company to run so he couldn't say anything. Steve kept every plea to stay locked behind his teeth and he sent Tony off to other countries with a smile. He pretended it didn't kill something in him to watch the genius climb into an airplane with a jaunty wave. He never gave in to the insane, insulting way he wanted to forbid Tony from flying off into battle where Steve couldn't fully have his back. And he watched without complaint whenever Tony vanished into the crowd at parties with some pretty young thing on his arm - they were only ever going to dance or talk shop but it still…

Even with all he had lost, with everything he kept losing, Steve had never imagined that losing Tony could be anything but temporary. Iron Man was Earth's mightiest defender, the smartest and bravest man he had ever known. There was no way he could ever be taken down in battle; he couldn't imagine a time when there wasn't a red and gold streak protecting the Avengers and the world.

Then Magneto had almost killed him and Steve was forced to let go of that happy delusion. He could lose Tony forever in the blink of an eye and he wasn't... he didn't know how he was supposed to survive that. If Tony ever... ever died... it would be like losing everything all over again.

He had been losing things since before he was born, and he'd always managed to weather the storm. Most things he could still lose and eventually be okay.

If he lost Tony, Steve knew that he would never be okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter shoooould be up in a few hours. Probably. :'D


	8. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! :D Between dog-sitting an incredibly needy, slightly annoying dog and work I didn't get this up as quickly as I needed it, but here it is! :D
> 
> I feel super bad about how long it took to finish this commission, but I very much enjoyed writing it!! I love fluffy-ness with a touch of angst, and I like when I don't have to include a lot of plot because I'm bad at it. XD So thanks very much to the awesome lady who commissioned this and let me run with the prompt she gave me! <3
> 
> Comments warm my soul greatly even though lately I've been crap at responding to them. Thanks so much for reading! :D

Steve was reluctant to answer the knock to his door - he had been on the edge of falling asleep in his own bed for the first time in a week. Even at SHIELD medical he had only slept for a handful of minutes at a time, too worried about Tony to find any kind of peace. Now that he was safe and (hopefully) sleeping up in the penthouse, Steve had finally been ready to fall into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

Instead he was answering the damn door in his Iron Man pajamas that he really hadn't wanted anyone but Thor to know he owned. The God of Thunder had been the one to buy them for him as a present, which was the only reason he had been allowed to live with the knowledge.

He had half-expected Nat, or maybe Clint to be checking in on him. They were worried about him, especially Nat. She'd been playing the part of mother hen to a T since Tony's injury. She forced him to eat, decided when he would be sleeping, and once dragged him into the shower by his ear and proceeded to strip him down under a stream of cold water. He had finally managed to fend her off when he was left only in his briefs. By then it had been easier to just finish getting clean... mostly because she had leaned back against the door to stand guard.

So yeah, Nat would have made sense and she would have no problem sending a concerned Clint out to do her dirty work for her. Thor would be the next suspect, but they had parted only a hour before and Steve had told him that he planned on going to bed. Bruce would have been a surprising fourth choice, but even that would have made more sense than who he found once he swung the door open.

"Rhodes? I thought you were with--"

"I was." The man gave him a smile that looked tired and worn. He was leaning heavily against the door frame with a case of beer in one hand. Later Steve knew he would be delighted by the fact that Rhodes' own pajama shirt was emblazoned with Black Widow's symbol and that his flannel pants were dotted with tiny hammers, bows, shields and arc reactors. It was just that he recognized Tony's hand in the outfit, which at the moment only tugged painfully at his heart. "He finally talked himself to sleep about twenty minutes ago. I was gonna try to do the same without the talking, and then..."

"Come on in." He stepped back and opened the door wider while gesturing Rhodes in. "I haven't been sleeping so well myself." Or at all, really. Even if he might have managed to do it in a few more minutes, he wouldn't begrudge Rhodes the company. Not when the guy looked so drawn and tired; not when he was Tony's best friend. "Might as well stay awake together. Any of that beer for me?"

"You can't even get drunk. Why the hell would I give you any of my beer?" Rhodes' shoulder bumped playfully into his while he entered, another small smile on his face. "Though I am willing to hand one over for your induction."

"Induction?" Steve's brow furrowed, and he found himself trailing after Rhodes like a lost puppy. "What am I getin' inducted into?"

"The 'worried as hell about Tony Stark' club. Used to call it the 'I love that asshole even when I want to kill him and I wish he wasn't so good at nearly getting himself killed' club, but Pepper said that was too long. She's scary enough that I let her change it. Sit down and pop a couple of these open, will you? That man takes it out of me. I argued with him for forty minutes about going down to the workshop. Almost caved when he cried."

"I would have," Steve admitted while popping the top off of two bottles. He didn't like the taste of beer in modern times very much, but he still liked to drink socially. Well, not when he was Captain America - his super-self didn't drink. Plain old Steve Rogers was the one who sipped a cold brew from time to time with his buddies. "I always cave if he cries."

"You're damn lucky he doesn't exploit the hell out of that." Rhodey took his beer with a nod of thanks then let out a heavy sigh. "So. Welcome to the club." He knocked his bottle against Steve's and they both took a long swig. Being so goddamn worried about Tony all the time wasn't fun, but he was grateful for the reminder that he wasn't alone doing it. Even apart from the Avengers, Tony had people who cared about him, who would probably do just about anything for him. 

As much as the selfish part of him wanted to be Tony Stark's everything, it was really, really nice to remember that Tony had always had people in his corner.

"Now. When are you going to get up the guts to ask my boy out?"

The beer that sprayed out of his mouth after the question landed on the couch instead of Rhodes which was a real fucking shame in his opinion. His face was flaming, Rhodes was laughing, and he wished he could just sink into the ground and disappear. Steve tossed the bottle caps at the other man, who evaded them easily as he sank back into the couch. Nobody talked about his... his thing for Tony. Nobody except Nat anyway, so the sudden confrontation was…

"I hate you."

"Nah. You should though. Ask him I mean. Don't know why you've waited this long if I'm being honest."

"He might say no."

"He might." It was nice to have the other man acknowledge the possibility instead of scoffing at him the way Nat did. "And then things might get awkward for a while, maybe you avoid him or the other way around for a few weeks. Maybe you don't really talk for a couple months. But you know what? Wouldn't last forever. You're one of his people now man. He wouldn't let you asking ruin that. You wouldn't lose him as a friend, not really. Not forever. So if that's what's stopping you? Yeah. Just fucking ask him before there's a fight that ends with him worse off than a few broken ribs and a concussion."

Everything in Steve turned cold at those words, as cold as the ice that had claimed him for so long. Tony had come so close to... Christ, watching him fall had been torture, and then there'd been that horrible moment of not knowing before JARVIS confirmed that his creator was alive. Barely, the AI had said, sounding so lost and scared that Steve had almost fucking panicked. He had almost lost Tony, might have lost Tony if Thor hadn't swooped in to carry him to medical. He could have lost Tony without the man ever knowing how he felt, and... and…

"I can't," he said, staring down at his bottle. "I... there's... I've got this plan. I don't... I don't want to spook him or make him feel like me bein' his friend was just me tryin' to... if he never wanted anything else, I'd be honored to be his friend. I don't want him to think--" 

"Hey..." Rhodes' hand fell onto his shoulder and gave a tight squeeze. "Breathe. I didn't mean to... hell. I think you're overthinking this is all. I won't say anything more about it though, if you don't want me to."

"Nat is kinda my go-to agony aunt for this. I think she might kill you if I talked to you instead of her. Or even just to you once in a while when she was off doing something else."

"I do not need the Black Widow out for my blood, so I'll let it go. And I promise I won't say anything to Tones either. Just... I don't think you should worry about spooking him. He's not always the best at picking up on social cues either, so I hope your plan--"

"It's long-term. I don't need to make him my fella tomorrow, Rhodes. I can wait for him to be ready."

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say. Hey, you ever hear about the time Tony tried to keep twenty rats as pets in our dorm?"

"What?"

"Oh yeah. He never had pets as a kid, you know? Howard wouldn't let him, and whenever Tones tried to make a metal version-- uh, not important." Fuck, Steve wished he could go back in time and beat the hell out of the man who had apparently made himself out to be his best friend way-back-when. "So he gets to college - a skinny-ass fifteen year old with more sass than anything else - and finds out about the lab rats in the bio department. Apparently he stewed on that for almost two years because one day I wake up and one of the things is on my chest, staring at me with it's beady little eyes." He was pretty sure Rhodes' full body shiver wasn't fake - the guy looked pretty creeped out.

"If he ever tells you this story, I want you to know that I didn't scream. It was a damn war cry, because I was ready to fight the little bastard. But it ran, so I'm thinking I'm safe, right?" He snorted, then took another pull of beer. "Nope. They're all. Over. The dorm room. Asshole had gone and 'rescued' them while he was drunk because he kept thinking about how they were getting experimented on - which he decided meant torture and certain death. He cried over the damn things, Steve. They were rats, but he was crying like they were puppies dropped off at a kill shelter. It was awful."

"Did you make him give them back?"

"Fuck no. I'm not a monster. Didn't let him keep the furry bastards either though. Tony set up a shelter for them."

"A... shelter?"

"Yup. Bought a building, hired some staff, the works. Those rats lived like goddamn kings for the rest of their lives. Shelter's still up and running, actually. They take in all the odd and weird kinds of pets that people get rid of or mistreat. Great place that he never tells anyone about. Won't let them list him as the founder, won't attach his name to it at all - he was always afraid the people who hate him would do something to the animals to get back at him. They send him pictures, I think, and he funds all their day to day operations as anonymous donor, but otherwise he keeps his distance."

"That's... amazing."

"That's Tony."

~.~.~

Rhodes had ended up staying in his room for the rest of the night - they'd finally fallen asleep on the couch and woke up cuddling. That had cemented their friendship, apparently, because now he was under strict orders to call the man 'Rhodey' and to get in touch if he needed anything. It was almost enough to leave him feeling starstruck. Rhodey was the center of almost half of Tony's stories and Tony admired him, _loved_ him more than probably anyone. Seemed to think his best friend had hung the moon and all the stars really, and he talked the guy up endlessly. That same man wanted to be _his_ friend, and it had him feeling kind of giddy. Especially with the way Tony had lit up like the sun the first time he had heard Steve use the name. He liked making Tony happy.

The story Rhodes had told about the animal shelter stuck with him. He had thought about going to visit but with Tony working so hard to keep his distance, Steve knew it wasn't his place to arbitrarily step in. Still, he loved knowing about it, loved that Tony's heart was big enough to save even lab rats that probably hadn't known love a day in their lives. He could see it, the way hearing about them would have put little lines of distress around Tony's eyes. He'd probably planned for months how to get them out of their cages safely - there was no way it had been a spur of the moment decision. Maybe he'd needed to be drunk to put it into motion, but the idea had been rattling around that genius brain long before that night.

He could be so strangely, beautifully sweet; Steve was never sure if he loved or hated how few people seemed to understand that. As much as he liked being one of the privileged few to see that side of him clearly, he also sort of wanted to crow about every amazing trait of Tony's so the whole world would know how damned perfect he was.

It was a constant struggle. If Tony ever agreed to go steady with him, Steve knew that he'd manage to brag about his fella at least twice in every conversation he had. Fury was going to love that.

Something was different between him and the genius, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. Tony didn't seem distant, exactly, but he had almost had a heart attack when Steve had tried to follow him into the workshop the first day he had been allowed back. He'd been forcefully denied entry for the first time ever and it... it had hurt. Sure he was invited down a few hours later, but even then Tony had been cagey, hard to pin down. He was alternating between pressing right into Steve's space and pulling away whenever Steve touched him. He was either chatting a million miles an hour about nothing or falling into long, strange silences. And sure, he knew that he wasn't entitled to know all of the genius' business, but still Tony usually told him most of it anyway. Now he was hiding something, and it was all making his head spin.

He had known at the time that he was probably tipping his hand at medical, but he hadn't cared. Now he wasn't sure what exactly was going on and he was too much of a coward to ask. Especially since half the time Tony was still refusing to let him in.

It had led to him leaving the tower to jog a lot more. He liked the space it gave him, and he knew he needed to start integrating or whatever the way Dr. Greene was always telling him to. Getting a feel for the city the way it was now was something he needed to do... and it was something he could put off when he was completely comfortable staying in the tower all the time. Now that the air there felt charged and uneasy he found himself needing to get out. In the process he was learning that he sort of liked modern day New York City.

Not all of it, of course. The blatant rudeness and the catcalling he witnessed were two things he could do without for sure. He tried to step in where he could to change things when warranted. Sometimes it backfired, sometimes he could help out, and sometimes he very much wanted to get his shield and bash at some hard heads to try and get through to people. It was all too loud for his ears sometimes, and he didn't know why everyone had to be on their cell phones every minute of the damn day, but there were good things too.

Food trucks were probably one of his favorite things about the future, for example. One jogging route in particular - the one he called the 'Tony won't talk to me today' route in his head - let him stop at six different trucks in under an hour to try an eat away his pain. He loved catching sight of same sex couples holding hands as they walked the streets, loved the way they didn't need to be so afraid anymore. There were so many different kinds of people that lived together, and he knew that he was experiencing things from a very particular and limited point of view, but... well. For every instance of hate and cruelty he saw, he could also find a handful of examples of genuine compassion and kindness.

The future wasn't what he had wanted, but it wasn't as bad as he had thought when he first woke up in it.

And really, when he thought about the last couple weeks - Tony's oddness, his talk with Rhodey, his new love of outdoor jogging - Steve could very clearly see the hand of fate. He had been brought to this moment in time for a reason, and who was he to deny that? Who was he to walk away from a moment so clearly crafted just for him?

The dog that he’d found was a shivering, whimpering mess. He wasn't sure if her fur was actually a muddy gray or if she was just covered in filth that made it look that way. Hell, he wasn't sure that she even was a she - he had just looked into her eyes and been struck with the sense that this was a lady he was dealing with. She was still flinching away from his every attempt to reach out to her, and that was okay. He could be patient, even if he longed to swoop her away and get her warm and fed. The spots of blood in her fur and the too-tight collar around her neck spoke of rough treatment. Steve was more than willing to go at her pace if it would earn him a bit of trust.

"I know, sweetheart. I know I'm big and prob'ly scary looking. You take your time getting used to me, okay? Kid I sent off to get you a treat should be back soon, unless he ran off with the money I gave him. Never can tell, but you can hope, isn't that right sweetheart? Yeah, you just have to keep hoping. You're gonna be a beauty once I can get you home and taken care of. Always wanted a dog, you know? And Tony won't kick you out, I'm sure of it. Rescued a bunch of rats one time, ain't no way he'd make me put you back on the streets."

Her upper lip slowly lowered to cover her teeth again, and she even settled her head back on her front paws. She was watching him though, and she made it clear that her guard was still up. A point in his favor was that she had stopped growling, and once he had sat down to make himself smaller she had stopped inching away too. He had a feeling she was either too weak to walk or hurt, otherwise she'd have been out of there right away.

"In fact, he'll probably be happy to have a pretty thing like you living at the tower with us. I think maybe he always wanted a dog too, so he'll probably spoil you rotten. Most all of the kids we've got are boys'n Nat only calls me pops when she wants something. It'll be nice to have a girl in the mix, I think. You'll be our little princess." Responding to his tone, she wagged her tail the smallest bit. It was hard not to fall all over himself in happiness, but he did his best to channel all that giddy joy into his voice while keeping his body relaxed. "That's right. You'll be our little princess and we'll take such good care of you sweetheart. All I need is for you to let me take you home. I'll call in a vet - Tony'll probably make sure it's the best one money can get. He's like that, your ma. Future. Maybe."

God, he was pathetic. He didn't really know that Tony wanted a dog and he was already planning on them being pet co-parents. But surely it wasn't that different than the 'bots - he always called them his kids now, and the genius never objected. He'd taken to Tony's kids, and if he brought the pup home then he was sure Tony would do the same for her.

"Hey mister. Got the stuff you wanted." Steve looked up to find the boy he'd given a fifty to standing a few feet away, two blue plastic bags swinging from one wrist. "That thing gonna bite if I get close? Rabies isn't how I wanna die."

"She won't bite. Hasn't bitten me anyway, but I can't get up or she'll get antsy. Come a little closer so I can reach. Once I've got the bags you can leave. There any change for you to keep?"

"Yeah. Got almost ten back." The teen inched forward, eyes on the dog the whole time. "How much of that do you want?"

"None of it. Thanks for your help."

"No problem. Good luck." As soon as Steve had hold of the bag, the teen was gone - he thought maybe his helper was actually scared of them, which made his willingness to run the errand even nicer. The bag with the brush and shampoo he set off to one side and hoped he would need later. The other bag had two different kinds of treats in it, and he studied them before choosing the jerky.

"Stuff just like this got me through the European countryside, you know. Good to have in a pinch. Maybe I oughta start carrying some with me again just in case. You wouldn't have had to wait so long that way. Ah, there we go. Now I have your interest, don't I sweetheart? Don't worry, this is for you. Not all at once though or you'd probably get sick. Doesn't look like you've been eating much."

Her tail was wagging again, thudding against the ground in an uncertain rhythm. The whole of her attention was now on the opened bag of jerky for dogs, and while he thought it smelled disgusting she clearly disagreed. When he pulled out a piece her eyes followed his hand but her tail stopped, posture looking a little defensive again.

"Shhh... don't worry. Not gonna make you take it from my hand right away sweetheart. That'd be mean. We're takin' our time to get to know each other, remember? Just wanted you to have something to eat while we did that."

Maybe he should have had the teen grab actual food... but it was too late to change things now. Besides, he'd feed her the good stuff after he got her home and had a vet take a look at her. Once he'd read up on what was best for her to eat and all that too. He wanted to make sure he got the best stuff to feed his new girl, after all.

"Here you go. Right there in easy reach for you, princess. You eat it when you're ready, okay?"

It took a few minutes before she stopped sniffing at the offering on the ground between them and actually ate it. The second went down the hatch faster, but she balked when he got his hand too close to her with the third piece. It was a slow, cautious dance the two of them were doing, but Steve was pretty sure it would be worth it.

An hour later when her head was in his lap and she was letting him stroke one hand down her side, he knew it had been.

"Let's get you home, princess. It looks like you aren't hurt too bad, but I didn't want to put a leash on that awful collar of yours. Cuttin' that off first thing, I promise. I'm gonna call a car-- no, I'm gonna call Clint. Animals all seem to love him, so hopefully you won't run scared once he pulls up. I think Happy might scare ya away even if he's a big softy, yes he is. Clint'll know what to do'n then we'll get you home. Christ, I can't wait to introduce you to Tony. He's gonna love you, I just know it. And I'm sure you'll love him too. He's awful easy to love. Just you wait and see. It might be weird, living with us Avengers, but I'll make sure you're taken care of, don't you worry."

She looked up at him with gorgeous, trusting brown eyes and let her tail thud against the ground a few times. His girl was probably as calm and relaxed as she was going to get which meant he should try to get her out of there. Easing his phone out of his pocket without disturbing her was hard; ignoring the coos of the small crowd of spectators he'd gotten was even harder. He was probably going to be in the news again, which was annoying and made him just a little bit angry every time it happened.

Clint answered after the first ring and seemed thrilled with the latest favor he'd be doing for Steve. He'd be there within half and hour and then they could get the poor girl home to be taken care of. The man also promised to warn Tony and get him to have a vet come to the tower pronto.

"There we go girl. One of your brothers is gonna come pick us up and after that we're gonna get you feeling so much better. That's right sweetheart... we're goin' home." The dog gave a sigh that - to his ears - sounded pretty damn happy. She pressed her head a little harder into his stomach and settled one paw on his leg, tail thumping away as he carefully scratched her side.

It was definitely fate that had brought them together, and it looked like she knew it too.

~.~.~

Tony hadn't talked to him for three days after he brought the dog home. He might have been more worried about that if JARVIS hadn't constantly been relaying information from him that was all about how to best take care of dogs. There'd even been a few care packages delivered, all of them with Tony's unique gift-giving flair. Steve suspected that he was worried about getting too attached only to have someone snatch the dog away. That was something he could understand, so he figured it was best to let the genius come around in his own time. JARVIS and Rhodey both agreed with him and he could afford to be patient. Especially since he had a little princess to dote on and introduce to the other Avengers.

Thor in particular seemed charmed. He'd also been ready to go on quest of blood vengeance against her former owner, whoever that was. It had taken a lot of talking to convince him to let it go and focus on giving her a good home in the moment. Besides, he knew that Nat and Clint were making quiet inquiries of their own. Whatever they did to whoever it was would be a lot nastier than anything Thor could come up with. It'd have a nice, vicious twist of poetic justice too, which he sort of approved of but also never wanted to know about.

It was nice that her siblings were so protective of her.

She was still nameless, because he'd wanted to talk about that with Tony. He'd thought that they could agree on a name together; he wanted so badly for them to be taking care of the dog as partners. He couldn't call her 'princess' forever though, and he couldn't keep waiting on Tony. So he'd taken to jotting down names on scraps of paper, searching for one that felt right.

He sort of liked Lady and Primrose - she was a dignified, polite little thing even as she explored her new home and dealt with her injuries. For some reason he kept coming back to the name Beacon too, but he just wasn't sure. He needed some help but only really wanted it from one person.

Thankfully Tony showed up on the fourth day, looking both guilty and cautiously hopeful.

"So. A dog."

"Yeah. I'm real sorry I didn't ask first, but I--"

"This is your home, Steve. You don't have to ask if you can get a pet. Hawkass does, but that's only because he'd try to come home with a tiger or something just to piss me off. The rest of you are allowed all the furry or scaly companions you want." Tony edged a little further into the room, though he stayed with his back against the wall and a gulf between him and the dog. "The vet says she wasn't hurt as badly as she looked."

"Nope. Most of it was just surface stuff, and her leg was sprained instead of broken. She's doing just fine." Sensing they were talking about her, she gave a soft 'wuff' and hit her tail against the floor a few times. "Vet says as long as we take it easy with the exercise but make sure she gets some it shouldn't be too long before that's one hundred percent again."

"That's... that's really good. So."

"So." They stared at each other, and he felt that strange tension between them mount again. He hated it, didn't know how to diffuse it, and so he just kept on staring.

Eventually his princess had enough of that and climbed to her feet before making her way over to the genius. He watched as Tony tensed up more and more with every step she took... but he also didn't run away. He just watched her with that same guarded hope, and it was just about enough to break Steve's heart. He wondered if young Tony hadn't tried to bring home a stray or two only to have it taken away because pets weren't allowed at the Stark household. He wondered again what had happened to the metal substitutes Rhodey had mentioned, and he knew that Tony hadn't been avoiding her because he didn't want a dog or because he didn't care about her.

He'd just been afraid to get attached and lose her.

His girl made her way to the genius and stopped just a few inches away, tail wagging politely and her gaze fixed on him. Steve knew that he was a sucker for those pretty eyes and he was pretty sure that Tony would be too. Sure enough he reached out after only a moment, fingers trembling a little. When he couldn't quite bring himself to touch her, she gently pushed against his hand and let out one of her happy little sighs before sitting prettily.

Everything she did was beautiful, but he was probably biased since he was her dad and all.

Tony stopped resisting pretty quick and began to deliver what had to be a really good scratch because she pressed hard against his leg and made a low sound of pure delight. The genius' lips were curved up in a tiny, barely there smile that lit him up inside and made him warmer than the sun ever could.

"Hey there cutie. What's a girl like you during a place like this?" She lifted a paw and settled it on his knee, drawing out a soft chuckle. "What's her name?"

"Doesn't have one yet. I was--"

"Steve, you have to give her a name."

"I know, I was just--"

"You've had her for three days! How could you not have named her yet?"

"Could I maybe get a wor--"

"I am very sorry for not visiting earlier, beautiful. If I'd known that this lug--"

"Tony!" He hoped the laughter in his voice would soften the interruption; sure enough Tony was grinning when he looked up. "Can it and let me talk a minute, will ya? I know she needs a name and I've been thinking of which one to give her. Just... I wanted to wait for you. Thought you might like a say in it."

Tony's entire body froze, eyes wide and startled enough that he worried the man would run. "Really? You wanted... but she's your dog, Steve."

"Maybe so, but you're her ma. Gotta have your help with the naming, don't I?" Tony's mouth dropped open even wider than his eyes and he seemed to sag a little harder against the wall. She whined quietly and nudged his hand until he looked down at her, hand moving to scratch behind her ears. To his eyes Tony looked overwhelmed and maybe a bit teary, like maybe he hadn't realized that if Tony's kids were his then his kids damn well were Tony's too. Robot, dog, Avenger... didn't matter. He liked that they were in taking care of them all together.

Steve liked that even if they weren't going steady he would never be alone as long as Tony was his friend.

"What..." He would never acknowledge the way Tony had to stop and clear his throat, too choked up to keep talking. "What names were you thinking of?"

"Sorta liked Lady and Primrose--"

"Lady makes me think of that old Disney movie, so I.. can I veto it?"

"'Course. Lady's out. Oh, I like the name Beacon too, but I'm not... I don't think it fits. Next dog maybe."

"The next... right. The next dog is going be named Nova, thank you very much. But for her... I like Primrose." Tony bit his lower lip, eyes meeting his fleetingly before going back to Primrose. His shoulders were suddenly hunched up defensively again, and Steve ached to go and wrap him up in a hug. "One of the meanings is 'I can't live without you'."

He hadn't known that, but now he did know the first kind of flower he was going to buy for the genius. Though he did sort of wonder why Tony knew about their meaning.

"Primrose it is. I'm prob'ly gonna call her Rosie a lot," he admitted with a grin. Tony rolled his eyes like he wasn't going to come up with a dozen nicknames of his own for their girl. Steve stuck his tongue out at the genius, then headed for the two of them. He went to his knees in front of Primrose and began to enthusiastically rub her ears. "You've got a name now sweetheart, yes you do. My little Primrose. Ya like that, huh?" It was hard to tell if the enthusiastic tail wagging was from the petting or the new name, but it didn't really matter. She was happy and that was all he cared about.

"You're a dork, cookie crumble." It was impossible not to blush whenever he heard that stupid nickname so he didn't even try. He tried to ignore the way Tony chuckled, the sound shivering pleasantly along his spine. "So... we have a dog. If you come home with a baby next time we are going to have words."

"Where the hell would I get a baby? Ya think I'm gonna just steal one or something?"

"No, but you might find one that looks kind of sad and decide to save it."

"How 'bout I promise that I only get a baby when we both go pick one out?"

"It's not shopping, Steve." For all his indignance, Tony was still starting to blush a little. "You don't just _pick one out_. It's a process."

"Well whatever. Then I'll only go through the process if you go through it with me. Deal?"

"Yeah. Deal. Whatever. Shut up, I am not blushing."

"Didn't say you were."

"Not out loud, but your smile was speaking for you."

"Smiles don't talk, Tony." The genius scoffed and Steve hid another smile in the fur on top of Primrose's head. Once he felt like he wasn't so happy he could bust, he directed a look back up at Tony. "We were just about to settle in for a movie. Wanna join us?"

"Sure! I mean... yeah. Probably. Just let me check with Pep to make sure she doesn't need anything, okay? I'll come back in... ten minutes maybe? I'll bring food."

"Sounds good." Sounded almost like a date, really, but it couldn't be. Not with the way Tony had been so strange around him lately. Not with how he'd avoided him for that past few days. It was just a friendly movie between friends, so he absolutely should not try to sneak a few kisses once they were snuggled together on the couch.

Sometimes though... sometimes he thought it meant something, the way Tony was usually pretty quick cuddle close when the occasion presented itself. They were always on the little loveseat during team movie nights, the one that wasn't near big enough for two grown men to sit on without pressing in tight together. Maybe it meant something that Tony never pushed him away when he slipped a snug arm around the man's waist or settled a hand low on his back.

Then again Tony cuddled with Clint sometimes too, and he was always all over Rhodey. Bruce got just as much enthusiastic touching and so it wasn't anything special. Probably. Tony avoiding him so much lately definitely meant that it was just his tactile nature. Maybe.

Or maybe taking Rhodey's advice wouldn't be the huge mistake he had thought it was.

~.~.~

"Captain Rogers?"

Tony always said that JARVIS didn't live in the ceiling, but he didn't know where else to look. Besides, the look Tony got on his face was both adorable and only playfully angry so he'd do it even if he did know where the cameras actually were. The AI never seemed to mind after all.

"What can I do for you, J?"

"Not for me, Captain." He was sure that JARVIS sounded warmly pleased - he always seemed that way when any Avenger treated him like a person instead of a program. "But Sir does wish to see you in his workshop. Ah..." The AI trailed off, which was not something that happened very often. He always had a ready quip or sarcastic comment to make, had comforting words at the ready. So to have him sound unsure was... kind of worrying.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, not as such Captain. But... well. You may wish to... clean up a bit."

Steve looked down at his favorite set of comfy clothes and could admit that they were kind of shabby. He'd ripped the sweatpants in a few places and stretched the t-shirt out; both were stained and verging on gross. If they weren't so damned comfortable he would have thrown them out months ago. So sure he didn't exactly look his best, but he'd only expected to see his Rosie and the other Avengers for the rest of the day and they'd all seen him in that particular get up before.

His eyes met Primrose's and she made a soft 'whuff' before hiding her nose against his stomach and then promptly sneezing. Everyone was a damned critic, it seemed. He couldn't be mad at her though, just gave her one of the butt scratches that she lived for as he pondered J's suggestion.

"Is there something going on?"

"I'm not at liberty to say, Captain. But I believe that if you go down dressed as you are now it would become something you kicked yourself over later. I would like to prevent that eventuality if possible."

"O...kay?" What the hell was going on? "The thing you're not allowed to tell me about - is it good or bad?"

"It depends on one's perspective, I suppose, and is also entirely dependent on the outcome."

"You're kind of scaring me J."

"I do apologize for that Captain. I had no intention--"

"It's fine. So I know what you think I shouldn't wear. Any suggestions on what I should throw on?"

"A pair of jeans would be fine, I believe. And perhaps the blue Henley?"

Steve felt his brows raise as surprise registered. He never would have expected JARVIS to have an opinion on his clothes, let alone prefer a shirt that Clint had called 'bordering on criminally obscene'. It hadn't seen the light of day since that initial try, even if both Nat _and_ Tony had teasingly asked him to pull it on. Still... J almost never asked anything of any of them, and he did know what the hell was going on so he figured he might as well humor the AI.

"Blue Henley it is."

"You may also want to shower, Captain."

"... you've really got me worrying, J. Tony hasn't... he hasn't jumped on Nat's matchmaking bandwagon, has he?" Because as awful as it was to have Nat constantly pretending to have someone in the wings he should date, he thought he might die if Tony actually tried to fix him up. "I don't--"

"Not at all, Captain Rogers. I rather think that you will be very pleased as to Sir's plans. Thus the shower and change of clothes. Miss Primrose may come along if you wish, or I could have Master Clint come to take her on her usual walk."

Rosie's bottom had started to wag along with her tail when she heard Clint's name and by the time JARVIS said 'walk' her whole body was squirming with joy. Steve knew when he was beat - even a trip down to the workshop to see her metal brothers wasn't as fun as taking a walk with Clint. He was her favorite human to traipse around the city with and even her pop and her ma didn't come close to getting that level of excitement out of her.

"Why don't you go ahead and ask Clint ta come get her. Never gonna get her to settle now that she heard he might take her out."

"My apologies Captain - I had forgotten."

"It's fine. I'm gonna hop in the shower, so tell Clint he can come in and get her whenever so long as he doesn't go stealing any of my underwear again. It wasn't funny then and it won't be funny now. Underwear theft is _never_ a part of any--"

"Any acceptable prank, Captain. I remember that at least. I shall tell Sir you will be arriving...?"

"In about half an hour, if that works."

"Perfect. Thank you for your indulgence, as always."

"Your ma is being awful strange these days," he murmured to Primrose as he gave her ears another good scratch. "I sorta miss being able to go down whenever I wanted, no invitation needed. Still. It'll be nice to see the boys again. I'll tell 'em hello for you, okay sweetheart? And I'll try to get Tony up here for a movie and a cuddle too. I know you hate when he ain't around enough. Enjoy your walk." He dropped a loud smooch to the top of her head, then left her to bury happily under the throw pillows on the couch so he could get ready for... whatever the hell Tony wanted him to come to the workshop for.

Which was _not_ a date, no matter how his swooping stomach and stupid heart wanted to interpret J's words.

That was a talk he had to give himself several times as he headed down for the workshop. He was just glad Clint had swung by to grab Rosie and left already by the time he came out of his bedroom. When he had looked in the mirror he was worried and hopeful and confused as fuck to his own eyes; Clint absolutely would have noticed all those things. He would have noticed and either started teasing or gotten all sweetly, annoyingly concerned and butted in. It was better that he didn't run into anyone on the way down to the workshop.

He hesitated at the door to go inside though. The dimmers were on - Tony had another name for it, the way the walls of glass looking into the workshop went dark. It was a fancy word that Steve had deliberately forgotten every time he heard it just because he loved the fondly exasperated lecture he got for saying 'dimmer switch' _yet again_. They were usually only on when the genius wanted privacy, wanted to hide whatever he was doing from prying eyes.

Steve didn't begrudge him that, but seeing the way they were on now... it was just a reminder of how things had been between them. Of the strained silences and the way he'd been denied entry so often, of all the times he'd come down to find the dimmers on and heard JARVIS' gentle 'Sir is busy' to turn him away.

"Captain? If you'll just step inside, Sir is waiting for you. And may I say that you look rather dashing."

"Thanks J. He really... I can go in?"

"Yes. And I hope you will do so soon as I see from your vitals and from Sir's that you are both working yourselves up into states of anxiety."

"Right. Okay. Sure. Um. I'm going in then."

A weary sigh was his only answer, and he was pretty sure that poor JARVIS had had just about enough of being their go-between in moments like this. He just wished he knew what had gone wrong, and why the genius kept blowing so hot and cold. Maybe he should have pushed before now or even sent Nat snooping but he just... he really had wanted Tony to tell him what was going on in his own time.

Looked like maybe that time was finally here.

Even beyond the dimmers, the workshop was darker than it usually was with at least half the lights turned out. Tony - who didn't seem to realize he had come in - was pacing at the far end, one hand constantly running through and tugging at his hair. Seemed to be arguing with himself too, though Steve couldn't make out more than a few mumble 'what ifs' along with his own name. It hurt seeing the man so worked up over seeing him, and he was on the verge of just leaving because Christ Tony should not be nervous about them being in the same room... but then he saw it.

There was a little bouquet of flowers laying on one of the workbenches. Only a couple months ago he would have assumed they were for Pepper, or maybe for Nat as a 'thanks' for working with him on his hand to hand. But once he and Tony had settled on a name Steve had spent days looking at those specific flowers, spent hours drawing and shading different bunches of the things so he could make the perfect design for Tony to have etched on Primrose's leather collar.

_One of the meanings is 'I can't live without you'._

"Holy shit."

His breathy exclamation was what drew Tony's notice, and the man spun to face him before coming to a complete stop. Their eyes met and held, and Steve knew his mouth was probably hanging open. Mary Mother of God he prayed the conclusion he'd jumped to wasn't wrong, because the hope he had been carefully hoarding close to his heart had suddenly grown big enough to crush him to pieces if Tony dashed it. He couldn't breathe because of the want that was choking him, and his heart was pounding so loudly in his ears that the genius had to be able to hear it.

Especially since they were suddenly standing only a few inches apart. Steve wasn't sure exactly when the distance had been crossed or who had done it, but now they were close enough for him to feel Tony's breath fanning over his skin while his scent flooded Steve's nose. Every thought that he might be wrong, that this might be another misunderstanding soon flew out the window, thank God. When he looked into the beautiful brown eyes he'd been dreaming of for years, he saw the same longing he so often found in the mirror. Tony was swaying into his space as much as he was swaying into Tony's, and he could feel warm hands gripping his sides.

Steve couldn't keep his fingers from trembling when he raised his own hands to frame Tony's face, but he didn't let that stop him from caressing the man's jawline with his thumbs. Those brown eyes fluttered shut before coming back to his, tongue darting out to wet his lips. There was so much that they hadn't said, or talked about, so much that Steve had wanted to say for so long... but none of it mattered. Not when he was so sure that they were finally, _finally_ , on the same damn page.

He'd always been a man of action anyway.

Tony's mouth parted in a surprised gasp under his own, and he had less than a heartbeat to worry that maybe-- But then the genius surged against him, his arms going around Steve's neck. The kiss was clumsy, full of more desperation than he might have liked... but it was also perfect. It was him and Tony, both of them breathless and soon smiling too wide to keep going. Now he knew that Tony's lips were much softer than he would have expected and knew what that ridiculous goatee felt like tickling his skin. He knew how it felt to have Tony pressed tight against him; he knew what the genius' laugh tasted like.

"I had plans, you Star Spangled jerk," Tony whispered between chuckles before pressing another too-smiley kiss against his lips.

"Yeah? Me too," he murmured, heart and stomach fluttering wildly. This was... Christ, it was everything he'd wanted for so long, and he couldn't help but catch those lips in another kiss, and then another. "Ten years worth."

"Bullshit."

"Show ya the list later if you want."

"Mmmm. You better."

Talking between kisses was officially his favorite thing to do now, and as much as he loved to hear Tony ramble he'd be pretty damned okay if they just kept doing this forever. "It's in my bedroom," came out in a rumble he almost didn't recognize as his own voice. When he felt the way it made Tony shudder against him he vowed to learn how to use it on purpose.

"Definitely want to see it then." The admission - bordering on a demand - was spoken against his own parted lips and led to another round of brief, needy kisses that eased off into something sweeter and bordering on chaste. "Had a damned speech too. Ass."

"Sorry. Almost. You got me flowers," he added by way of explanation. "I saw 'em and I... I just... I knew. Had ta kiss you then." Something almost like sorrow passed over Tony's face and he couldn't help the wounded sound that punched out of his throat. He hated when the genius looked sad, especially when it was his fault that it had happened. Tony should never be sad, especially not now that they'd just started. "I'd love to hear your speech, sweetheart. Sorry I ruined--"

"You didn't ruin anything." A firm but tender kiss sealed the insistent words, but he still wasn't sure he believed them. "And no you don't to hear it. It was awful and I would have been so nervous that I would have sidetracked myself with tangents on tangents I'd already taken. This is... fuck, Steve." When Tony pressed his face against Steve's neck it was instinct to cradle him closer, sliding the hand in Tony's hair down to the nape of his neck while his other arm wrapped tightly around the genius' waist. "I'm sorry for making you wait so damn long. I didn't... I didn't think you could ever feel... not for me. You're so--"

"So fucking gone on you that Nat makes me sympathy cakes whenever I gush about you for too long."

"She does not."

"Mm-hmm. They're delicious." He pressed a kiss to Tony's temple, reveling in his ability to do it and the surprised delight in the man's voice. "Maybe she can make a celebratory one for the both of us. Thor bought me Iron Man pajamas a little while back. I wear them so much there's already holes in ‘em."

"Really?" The smile pressed against his neck only fueled him to continue and hide a smile of his own in tousled brown hair.

"Really. Got sketchbooks full of pictures of you too, 'cause you're so damn beautiful it hurts sometimes. Why the hell do you think Clint started calling us mom and dad? Or why they all try to get you to agree with them on what we eat or watch? They all know how I feel about you and that... how's that saying go? With you goes my nation?"

"You're embarrassingly sappy."

"Prob'ly." Fingers twisted in his shirt, tugging him impossibly closer as a laugh got huffed out against his skin. "So yeah, Tony. I feel that way about you. It's always been you and I hate that I messed up so bad when we first met that you don't think I could--"

"No! No. That's not... fucking hell. Look. That was just a fucked up situation and... Howard. He used to... say things. So I thought... I thought someone like you couldn't ever... feel... anything for me. Shit, I never thought you even would want to be my friend." It hurt to hear, and by God did some part of him want Tony to build a time machine just so he could go back and kick Howard Stark's ass. He hugged the man a little tighter, one hand rubbing up and down the length of his spine. "I was so fucking glad that you wanted to be my anything that I... Rhodey said I was being an idiot."

"Rhodey said I should ask you out."

"Ha! That's my honey bear, interfering without confessing for me."

"He's a good man."

"Pretty much the best. Anyway I... after you all imprisoned me in medical for no reason--" Steve growled before he could stop himself and wasn't quite as amused when he felt another laugh against his neck. "Sorry. It was then that I realized I'd been being kind of oblivious. I can't believe it took me so long--"

"You had four and a half more years before I would have gotten worried."

"... what?"

"My plans. Five years in is when we were supposed to get together."

"That long, really? Do you think I'm a moron or something?"

"No. But I didn't want to spook you and I didn't... I love being your friend. I didn't want to lose that by asking for more. So I figured..."

"You figured you'd tiptoe around me until I finally got wise."

"Kinda. There's a whole, you know. Set of steps."

"Wait wait wait. You said ten years."

"What?"

"You said ten year plan earlier. So I had five years to fall for your sneaky charms... what happens in the next five years?"

"Uhm..." Damn it, he was blushing - he'd sort of hoped to avoid the whole thing during his eventual confession. But where he'd jumped the gun and cut off Tony's planned speech, Tony had jumped the gun by _years_ and Steve didn't even fucking have a speech planned yet. "I, uh. Talked to Thor. About what I'd have to do to get an apple. Two maybe, depending on how the serum works out in the end. He thinks I've got a good shot and he said he'd bring it up with his ma as soon as... well. Guess he's going to be talking to her soon."

"Apples?" It was tentative and hopeful, that small interruption, with the genius gripping his shirt even tighter.

"Mmm. And maybe, you know. I mighta..." Tony's inquisitive, beyond-pleased hum cut through his embarrassment. And really what the fuck did he have to be embarrassed about? "I started trying to design a wedding ring for you too." The man in his arms went completely still, breath catching audibly. Hoping like hell he wasn't making a huge mistake, he swallowed hard and kept going. "Because I do want forever with you. I know I'm not... that we haven't..."

"I want that too," Tony breathed before pulling back just enough to look up into his eyes again. "Jesus fuck I want that too. But even after... shit. Why the hell do you want it with me? I've been so fucking blind and then I've been so damn weird lately because all I wanted to do was tell you that I... felt the same way--"

"Why didn't you?" he asked, ignoring the way they were both dancing around actually saying the word love. For the moment, anyway. "I thought I messed things up. I know at medical I was a little intense--"

"Super intense, super worried, super sexy.... and I wanted to do it right for you, since I'd been such an idiot."

"Tony... you didn't have to do it 'right'. You never have to worry about doing something perfect - you're already so damn close to perfect in my book already that you don't have to try so hard."

"Sap."

"Because you aren't one?"

"Not as big of one as you are."

"You aren't as big as me period," he teased just to watch Tony's cheeks puff out in irritation. "Not without wearing the armor or putting lifts in your shoes anyway."

"I do not wear lifts!"

"Sure you don't sweetheart."

"Shut up."

"Make me." That, of course, inspired another round of kisses just the way he had hoped it would. This time the mood changed from sweet into something much more passionate and heated. Things might have gone even farther - farther than he was ready for just yet but God if he wasn't enjoying the feel of the other man too damn much to want to stop it either - if U hadn't interfered. Just as Tony slid his hand into Steve's back pockets and squeezed, the 'bot gave a quiet beep to call their attention to him.

It was done reluctantly and they maybe started kissing again a couple more times, but eventually they were able to separate and look down at their son. In his claw he was very daintily clutching that bouquet of flowers, offering them to Steve. Blushing like crazy and completely unable (and unwilling) to do anything about it, he accepted them with one hand and brought them to his nose to get a whiff of their scent.

"I was gonna get you some of these myself."

"Yeah?"

"Well, after you told me what they meant anyway."

"I almost peed myself when you said you wanted to name our girl that. I thought... I thought maybe you'd found me out."

"Nah. I ain't that smart - just stumbled across it on the Google--"

"Time out! No. Just... no. I trained that out of you, Steven. There is no 'the' - it's just Google."

"I know. But you get the cutest little crinkle around your eyes when you don't know if you're irritated or amused by me."

"You're kind of a troll."

"Maybe a little. Hey Butterfingers, Dum-E. You see what your ma got me?" All three 'bots gave cheerful whistles and beeps before Dum-E pressed right up against his side. Butterfingers began to gesture emphatically - it would have taken him a second to catch on, but Tony always knew what the boys were trying to say immediately.

"We are not kissing just so you can watch it happen, pervert. You got enough of a show--"

"Aww, lay off. They're just happy we're finally together, same as me."

"... me too. Hey Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I fucked up your timetable already."

"Since I get to hold you a lot sooner than I expected I'm okay with that." Tony briefly hid in his shoulder, which he suspected was done to hide a blush. He squeezed the man a bit tighter and ran his free hand down his back. Tony retaliated by squeezing his butt again - probably done to make him start blushing - then tipped his head back to look up at him.

"Well... since I already did that and we both want forever, I'm thinking we might as well fuck that ten year plan up even more. Though really it sounds like it was more two different but related five year plans."

"Kinda. And, uh... how much are you thinking you want to fuck it up?"

"You should swear all the time because it is hot as hell."

"Shut up. How far up do you figure you wanna move things?"

"I sure as fuck am not waiting ten more years before I put a ring on it. I'm thinking six."

"Years?"

"Months." He couldn't help but start laughing which put a pleased light in Tony's eyes. A few moments later he pressed his mouth to Steve's in a clinging kiss before settling that dark head of hair on his shoulder again. "You think I'm kidding, which is adorable."

"We can't get married in six months, you mook."

"Can so."

"Pepper will kill us if we don't give her at least a year to plan the wedding."

"Fine then, a year. But we're announcing the engagement tomorrow."

"Tony!"

"Stop laughing or I'll have to spank you. Look." The playful tease gave way to a far more serious tone of voice, one that made Steve stand a little taller and listen close. "I want forever with you and for some crazy reason you want the same with me. Maybe we can't get apples right away and maybe everyone else will think we're jumping the gun, but... Steve. Cookie crumble. Babe. I... I love you, okay? I can't imagine ever not loving you. We've known each other for years, been friends almost as long and now... it doesn't feel too soon to me."

Steve's heart had stuttered for a beautiful, painful moment when Tony said 'I love you'. Sure it had been implied and all, but actually hearing it was... Christ, it was everything. He felt a little breathless, head spinning a little because this was sort of every dream come true.

"I love you too." The smile he got for that could have blinded the damn sun. There were also more kisses that made the 'bots break out into their version of a cheer. This time they didn't stop making out until Dum-E grabbed his fire extinguisher and Butterfingers had a welder with U frantically trying to decide which of them to try and stop first. While maybe he was actually a little concerned with the mayhem that was possibly just around the corner mostly Steve was laughing too hard to keep his lips anywhere near Tony's.

Soon they were both laughing, leaning against each other hard to keep themselves upright. It was, if someone was feeling poetic, a really nice metaphor for what he hoped their relationship would be like.

Eventually they ended up on the sort of shitty couch that Tony kept in the workshop, the 'bots now making a safer scene with specialized cans of silly string and bits of confetti. Steve knew he'd be helping them clean up later, but that was more than okay. He was in love with a gorgeous genius who cared about everything more than most people could ever guess; amazingly enough the guy loved him back. And while yeah, he could die happy... he would give everything he had to keep on living so he could stay with Tony.

Dr. Greene was going to be over the moon to hear that.

"Sirs?" Warmth flooded him at the thought of JARVIS giving him the same title as Tony. It was sort of like already being married. God, Tony wanted to get married within a year and he could hardly process the fact that he was getting what he'd wanted for so, so long.

"Yeah J?"

"The other Avengers wish you to know that they are... ah. Deliriously happy that the pair of you have gotten your heads out of your asses is how it was put to me by Master Clint. Mr. Rhodes wanted me to inform you that he will be stopping by in two weeks to help you both celebrate properly. Miss Potts--"

"Did you..." Tony sounded disbelieving, blinking several times with wide eyes. He was probably 'blue-screening' as he put it at J's gumption. "Did you already tell everyone?"

"Sir, I have been keeping track of the betting pool for almost two years now. I have heard you sigh about Captain Rogers even longer and heard him discuss his feelings about you with Miss Natasha more times than I can count. We have all been waiting for this a very long time. If Miss Potts had not forbidden me, I would be taking out a billboard advertisment. Sir."

He was blushing like crazy by the time the accusing rant was over and it was his turn to hide that by tucking his face against Tony's throat. The genius was clearly aghast, and tried to splutter a response for a while before he realized that there really wasn't one.

"Yeah, well. ... tell them thanks, I guess."

"I will do that Sir, on behalf of both of you. Also, I feel it might be prudent to remind you about the gift--"

"Oh! Right!" Tony brightened again and jumped up, dislodging Steve with enough force that he almost fell off the couch. That didn't even slow the genius down though - he just grabbed Steve's hand and began tugging. Amused and backside stinging a little from the fall he followed after the guy he was finally going to be able to call his fella. "I've been working on this forever - that's also why I didn't, you know. Say anything right away. Because I wanted it to be perfect and you know..."

He did know. Tony had wanted to give Steve something because even if had figured out how Steve felt... well. Tony wouldn't (probably still didn't) fully believe that he deserved to be loved on his own merits. He had a feeling he was in for a lot of gifts both big and small in the near future.

"Anyway, I scrapped it and started over a couple of times because it wasn't right and maybe this one isn't quite there either, but J pointed out I could keep tweaking it forever and not be happy with it so it was better to just rip off the band-aid. I got a lot of original parts and repurposed them and I hope it doesn't bring up bad memories - fuck maybe I shouldn't have... if you hate it that's fine. I can come up with a better design. I mean, I also sort of centered your new suit around this one but I could make it work with something else. Anyway--"

"Tony? Think ya could maybe tell me what you're actually talking about?" As much as he loved hearing Tony ramble, he really, really wanted to know what the present was. Besides, his fella would probably be happier if he saved the really long rambles for when he was going over the features of... whatever it was.

"Right. Right. Sorry. It's... here!"

Suddenly a corner of the workshop Steve hadn't seen in a while lit up and his jaw promptly dropped. There in front of him was a beautiful motorcycle that Tony had clearly poured his heart and soul into. It was sleek, painted a navy blue that almost seemed to ripple in the light shining down on it. When he got closer, he could see that there was a subtle, desaturated portion of the stars and stripes painted on both sides that you could only see in the right light. Not only was it a gorgeous machine, that beautifully understated paint job felt far more fitting than the more cartoonish color pallet SHIELD was always trying to force him into.

Despite that and the more modern sensibilities, Steve could also see touches that made him certain the design had been based off the motorcycle he'd driven back in the war. It was familiar without being threatening because of it, because of course Tony would understand how to straddle that line for him.

It would run like a dream and be perfectly suited to the way he drove, Steve knew that much. If Tony had started and stopped several times he couldn't imagine how long he'd been working on the thing. So much work, sweat and probably even blood had gone into it, and he had started it even before he'd known how dizzy Steve was over him. He worked so hard, cared so deeply... and God he loved the man so much.

"This is... Tony. She's beautiful."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I never.... Christ, you know me so well."

"I pay attention, since I love you and all."

"Love you too. And Tony? We are definitely scrapping that five year marriage plan. Pepper can learn to live with six month's notice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toying with the idea of doing an epilogue/future scene if anyone would be interested?


End file.
